"We fear being punished in the same way in which we punish othes"
Blame is when someone accuses of someone of doing something wrong.
This article is about addressing the suffering states of mind when we get blamed and how to transform it.
Blame In Depth
The focus of this article is about addressing the negative state of mind that can happen when we get blamed and the cause of it rather than talking about whether blame is good or bad.
Before we go deep into the topic we have to first realize that when people blame us it may not necessarily be that we actually did something wrong, rather we may have just done something that that did not fit well with their own belief system.
So we can get blamed for no good reason just simply because they didn't like what we did. For instance we may think it's better to give each other time and space when we just had an argument with a loved one and then get blamed for being too distant and cold.
For whatever reason we are blamed for, some of us can react quite negatively to the experience whether we are blamed for a good reason or a bad reason.
From a psychological perspective, our fears of being blamed can have been brought out during childhood by our parents who are always blaming us for doing the wrong things. As our parents are symbols of authority i.e. what is right and wrong, it can create a sense of "unworthiness to be loved" when they blamed us for doing something wrong. And similarly when someone blames us in life it can create similar reactions.
And as one dives deeper into one's mind to observe what actually creates the fear of prosecution one will encounter the theme of judgement at play. We all fear being blamed and being prosecuted because no one likes to be judged negatively. Afterall we are all inherently born with the need to love others and to be loved - because the deeper mind sees that all is One Self.
And even deeper, ironically it is through our desire and need to punish other people for doing wrong that sustains the negativity and fear of prosecution because we fear that people will punish us in the same way we wish others to be punished when they make similar mistakes.
Thus to truly release ourselves from such a fear we not only have to learn to accept others when they do wrong but also to look at the cause as to why we want to punish others. Usually issues to do with "control" and "responsibilities" will be at play.
All fears will always recede back to one root cause which is the lack of Self-Acceptance. When one no longer lacks Self-Acceptance then one will no longer feel the need to justify oneself out of fear when one is being blamed. Thus developing support for oneself is a good start of addressing such fear / negativity.
Importance Of Addressing The Fear Of Being Blamed
It is important to address the Fear of being blamed.
The Fear of Prosecution can be very draining to the mind as it can make us "defensive" and imagine all the possible scenarios where we can get blamed. It can make us argue with "imaginary" Selves in our mind.
Do you often find yourself imagining people blaming you or criticizing you?
When we experience the Fear of getting blamed, instead of looking at how to solve a solution to a problem at hand we can start devoting our energy into how to escape getting blamed.
Are you often fearful of conforntations?
Path Of Creator
Blame In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The destination is to reach a state of mind where we can naturally accept ourselves and others even when we are blamed - even if it is for the wrong reasons. The Path usually takes us to the accumulation of the wisdom that people will always see you for how they want to see you rather than who you really are.
The Wisdom learnt here is thus not to waste energy trying to control other people's perception of you but rather to use the energy in expressing who you are. And whether or not they will believe you will always be up to their own choice.
Also as we develop Self-Belief and have the confidence to stand up for ourselves when we are getting blamed for no reasons people will begin to notice this at a subconscious level and will think twice before accusing us. Thus there is no need to focus on "how to get out of a blame" because as one naturally develops Self-Confidence less and less people will try to blame you.
Thus all this will happen naturally as one simply works on transforming and releasing their Sufferings. Because the more one works on their negativities/fears, one will gradually develop Self-Belief.
One may discover the following ideas in their journey towards self-discovery.
"It is not ok to be wrong"
This is an example of a Negative Idea which can drive the fear of being blamed. The transition towards the positive declaration begins through accepting other people when they do wrong or when you do something wrong.
A note here is that the Acceptance is not reached through suppressing one's own opinion and giving in to other's but rather it is through the acceptance of other's opinion at the same time accepting one's own. It will take time for one to develop the wisdom to achieve such balance and harmony of Acceptance.
For the mind which carries the positive declaration, the person will be able to freely accept oneself and others when someone's wrong. One can also freely choose whether or not to do something that they think is wrong and something that they think is right.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
When you are being blamed for the wrong reason, simply try to express yourself. And it does not matter if you ultimately do so or not because it is through the intention of trying to do so that you can uncover any negativities of being blamed or prosecuted that may be lurking inside. And when they do come out, simply observe them to develop the Knowing.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
Whenever you experience inner dialogues of trying to defend yourself against other people’s accusations of you, simply refocus your attention on the body journey with a calm mind. When you do this, you are practising the art of developing self-belief towards yourself and compassion towards others at the deeper level of the mind.
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