"There is no Shame in Accepting ourselves for who we are"
Shame here is defined as the negative state of mind when one feels "wrong" about having certain emotions, thoughts, or actions.
So basically this is no different than judging oneself negatively at the mirror.
Shame In Depth
The state of shame is similar to the state of regret, guilt, embarrassment.
Whilst guilt is about having done something wrong to others, shame is more about feeling that something is wrong with oneself for having certain thoughts, emotions, actions. Perhaps it could be that one is in shame of being an angry person, or shame in being a smoking addict, or shame in lusting for sux, or shame in desiring for money etc.
So the state of shame is there because one believes that one is doing something “wrong.” Without this negative belief one will actually not experience the state of shame. For instance someone may have a passion for sex or drugs and not feel any shame about having such hobbies.
Importance Of Addressing Shame
It is important to address any issues to do with the state of shame. Because the definition of what is wrong and what is right will always be subjective.
In believing that something is wrong, The Self may begin to suppress their desires or passion instead of letting it surface so that one can examine what it really is. Suppression can be dangerous because anything which is suppressed can gradually build up and ultimately be blown out of proportions.
Also, in not fulfilling one’s desires one can experience unhappiness and unfulfilment. It is by accepting one’s wrong thoughts, emotions, actions that one can examine whether or not there is a “problem” that needs to be addressed. And if it is indeed a “problem” i.e. addiction to unhealthy drugs, it is then one can start examining why the addiction is actually there.
Path Of Creator
Shame In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The Path Of Creator is about creating greater happiness in our life.
The journey begins with understanding what the state of shame is – it is simply the negative state experienced when one believes that something is wrong with oneself.
The journey is about moving away from this negative state of mind through developing Self-Acceptance. There is no need to be unhappy, to criticize and judge oneself. Everyone is different, and through our life we will all become attached to certain passions, certain hobbies, certain ways of thinking. If it is there, it is there.
Thus the destination is to move away from self-judgement, self-criticism, and simply be who we really are.
Of course the journey will be a challenging one. Because when The Self experiences the feeling of shame, it means that The Self has already become deeply attached to the belief that whatever it is doing is “wrong” no matter how one thinks about it.
Here one can release oneself from the confusion by simply realizing that the focus of the work is about transforming the state of mind rather than at the level of the action. Because the focus of the life journey is about developing happiness, the work here is to transform Self-Criticism into Self-Acceptance.
So it is not so much about “becoming” what you are ashamed of, i.e. if you are ashamed about your addiction to drugs, the focus is not about becoming or maintaining your drug addiction, that is your own choice. The focus is to address the negativities one has towards oneself for being that way. Besides, if one wishes to quit their addiction, it is much faster to do it out of love rather than self-judgement. Because if done through self-criticism, one will not have understand fully why one has to quit taking drugs.
Addressing the state of self-criticism can thus help one to see clearer about the situation at hand. Because often The Self who is highly self-critical can suppress a lot of their desires, dreams, passions just because they think it’s wrong, for instance because they may think that they do not deserve the happiness. So it is important to transform Self-Criticism into Self-Acceptance to develop greater happiness in life.
Self Acceptance can be developed at an accelerated pace if one can learn to accept others for being wrong. Because in rejecting Other Selves for being wrong, it is actually no different than judging oneself for being wrong.
Now if one wishes to address the activities in which they are ashamed of, such as the addiction to drugs, then how the journey is made is through developing Self-Knowing - to know why the addiction is there. And through the process one may see the deeper cause, for instance to see that the cause for one's addiction to drugs is due to the fear of lonliness, or lack of purpose in life etc. It is then one can transform the mind at the root level through working on these issues of the mind.
The destination is towards accepting all possibilities of The Self.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Whenever you experience the state of shame in life simply try to Accept yourself by coming out of the negativity quicker and quicker. Try to love yourself for who you are, and then as you do this of course you will encounter inner resistance. Observe and let go of this inner resistance and question why it is there.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
When you encounter negative thoughts of self-criticism in your meditation, simply come back to the body journey. And then you may get pulled back into the negative wandering thoughts again. When this happens pull yourself back out of it again. This is how you develop Self-Acceptance, to not dwell in self-criticism but rather in Self-Acceptance. So do it quicker and quicker each time in your practice to develop the Self-Acceptance.
Courses On Shame
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