"Through relationship we can see ourselves"
The definition of what friendship really is will be different for each individual mind.
For some, friendship may mean to have supportive friends, for others it may mean being around trusting people, or it may mean being around people who will do your work for you or it may mean being around like-minded people and so forth.
Friendship In Depth
Friendship, like all sort of relationships in life is just an Idea of the role one should play when one is engaged in a relationship with someone.
I.e. Ideas about how to be a “Friend” and how a “Friend” should be to us.
We all have Ideas about what a “Friend” should be.
And when our friends do not live up to our expectations of what we believe a friend should be then we can feel a sense of disappointment and betrayal. And likewise, when we do not live up to expectations of other people then we can feel that we have disappointed and betrayed the Other Self.
Realize that when we become attached to the Ideas of how one should then it will always bring Suffering.
This article will look at this particular Suffering State of Mind and the ways in which we can address it.
Importance Of Addressing Friendship
It is important to address any issues and confusion one has about the Ideas of what a friendship is because without clarity one can choose friends which may not be beneficial to one’s life.
Realize that when we choose friends out of loneliness we can end up choosing the wrong people to be in our life. When we choose friends out of judgement we can end up closing ourselves to having relationships with people who may help us. Thus it is important to address our negativities so that we can choose our friends not out of Suffering but out of Wisdom. Because often our fears of lonliness can drive us to choose the wrong people to be in our lives - and this can include people who like to abuse and take advantage of weaker selves.
Thus it is important to address our Suffering States of Mind and develop the Wisdom of knowing what people we truly need in our life because when we choose the wrong people in our life it can cause stagnation in growth. For instance if a businessman chose a monk to manage his busines then the business will unlikely to profit. here it is not to say that the monk is bad or the businessman is bad, but rather the example is to show the importance of knowing what type of relationship one truly needs.
I.e. one can ask oneself the following question, "in my current situation, in my goals in life, in my style of living, what kind of people are better suited to me?"
Having the “right” people around you can also affect you greatly in your path towards success. For instance, when we are constantly surrounded by people who doubt us, it is easy to believe that the rest of the people in the world would do the same.
Thus by choosing the right people we can slowly gain our trust / self-confidence.
And then once we become more supporting of ourselves then the people who doubt us will no longer have any affect on us anymore, thus allowing us to open ourselves to even greater possibilities of friendships.
Path Of Creator
Friendship In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The Path towards Greater Happiness is about developing the Knowing of The Self.
The Life journey is about learning to be yourself, rather than being who you “should be.”
The focus thus is not about Being the “Perfect Friend” rather it is about realizing that you are already perfect and simply being yourself.
It is easy to lose ourselves when we try to fit in the roles other people expect us to for instance to do certain things or be a certain way so we can prove to each other that we are friends. We may do this out of the fear of hurting someone or the fear of being rejected by other people.
The Deeper Cause for the confusion about Friendships will always recede back to our Sufferings i.e. our Fears thus naturally as we transform and release our Sufferings, clarity will naturally come to us.
It is then one will gradually redefine their definition of friendship. Here, instead of focusing on what a “Friend should be” one will gradually move towards focusing on what type of people one simply needs in one's life.
A Lack Of Friends
We may have no friends or a lack of friends because we may not be in an environment where we can find the type of friends that we like.
If the Cause comes from our Judgement towards other people then this can be addressed in many ways. For instance, when we find ourselves having a Negative experience from judging others for not having the same interest as us, realize the following wisdom - that if we look hard enough we can always find differences with people, so realize too that if we look hard enough we can always find similarities as well. Simply speaking, we can always find a common ground with people if just look at it hard enough.
Generally speaking, as one simply Transforms and Releases their Sufferings then one’s negative judgement towards Other Selves will slowly dissolve. It is then one can begin to see the positive sides of everyone, it is then one can see more opportunities to have friendship with others. It is hard to be motivated to make friends with someone when we carry a great deal of Negativities within the consciousness thus simply by addressing our Sufferings this will be naturally resolved.
Friendship As Ideas
Friendship is an idea, and when friendship is built on too many ideas on how The Self should be then it can create a great deal of Stress on both sides of the party. Usually this type of relationship won’t last long and if it does it will be one filled with drama and disappointment.
The wisdom here is to simply find someone who can accept you for who you are.
Friendship as Goals
Friendship can be seen as being around people with a common purpose. I.e. to have the same business goals, to have the same ways of living i.e. Vegan, i.e. to have the same purpose in life, or simply to destroy boredom.
Friendship as a Team.
Realize that when you are in a friendship you are in a team. And you can only go so far as the team takes you. For instance, when you want to go forward but your friends want to go in the other direction you may end up being carried into a destination where it is not right for you. But if you choose the right friend to row the boat with you in the same direction then you will be able to reach the destination even quicker.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Simply begin to make choices on who to surround oneself with rather than letting fate take you. This does not mean to reject everyone you do not choose, but rather to also to take action in choosing your friends.
And then from the experience see if that person is beneficial to your happiness. Thus this will involve one to make a lot of choices – wrong ones and right ones – which is all part of the process to develop the Knowing of what one really needs.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
When we reject or crave for certain physical sensations that we experience in meditation we are in fact creating some sort of relationships with them i.e. “this physical sensation is good, this physical sensation is bad” and to the deeper mind this is no different than saying “this friend is good and this friend is bad.”
Simply observe and accept the sensations as is will help you to view and accept people in the same way.
Courses On Friendship
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