"Commit not to suffer; but to explore the ways to release it."
Commitment can be understood as the act of maintaining a relationship for as long as one can.
And what is a relationship?
A relationship is the connection you have with something in life. For instance, you can have a relationship with someone, with your goals, with your job, with a promise, with an object, and so forth.
So, a relationship can be one of many kinds because one can have connections with anything in life.
There will be people who can easily commit to relationships and people who fear commitments. It's also common for people to abandon their commitments as soon as they experience some form of unpleasantness arising from the relationship. For instance, from becoming bored with one's partner, becoming tired of the blandness of their new diet plans, finding their new exercise goals to be too painful, and so forth.
It's completely understandable for one to leave their relationships when it becomes too unpleasant. But often, one can end up leaving too soon, not realizing that had they stayed longer, opportunities for Self-Transformation could be found.
In this article, we will explore how the act of commitment and not abandoning a relationship even when it becomes unpleasant can be used as a catalyst to transform one's mind.
Commitment In Depth
Committing to something is often seen as an activity that one does on the outside.
But in terms of the journey of Self-Transformation, commitment is more to do with the activity that one does in the mind.
Let us observe the differences between the two to understand the act of commitment more.
For example, one can believe that a person is committed to his job because he has been in the job for several years.
But on the journey of transforming one's mind, commitment is about maintaining one's relationships at the state of the mind. So, to determine whether a person is committed or not, their state of mind must be looked into. For instance, a person can be faithful to their job on the outside, but inside, they may be constantly thinking about new ones.
So from this perspective, learning to commit to something is about learning to be in a state of acceptance, contentment, happiness in a relationship. It's about developing the state of contentment towards what one currently has. Thus the mind of a person who was truly committed to his job would remain happy and content with his job. And if that person were to think about alternatives, i.e. breaking the commitment, it would be out of wisdom rather than out of rejection towards the relationship.
So, to truly learn how to commit, one needs to work on their state of mind. It's a journey of learning to be content with one's relationships rather than always finding ways out of relationships when things get painful and tough.
It's important to understand this because when one only understands commitment as an action, one can easily become confused when faced with the question
How long to commit?
The more one tries to work on their ability to commit to things at the level of the mind, the more answers one will discover to this question, which we will talk about soon.
Importance Of Addressing Commitment
The ability to commit can only be developed when one has the intention to do so.
So let us learn a bit more about commitment so one can actually learn about what it really is and how it can relate to one's experience of happiness. Without such understanding, one would simply be confused as to why one would even want to develop the ability to commit.
Let us first explore the answers to this question:
Why would one want to stay in a relationship that is suffering?
Normally, when a relationship goes sour, the mind would want to run. So, it's understandable for one to leave relationships that can bring unpleasantness to their lives.
And also, it's a good idea to leave relationships that can bring harm to their physical health, for instance, in relationships where there is physical violence, or when one has relationships with drugs, alochol, i.e. addiction, and so forth.
But if one's relationship is only unpleasant in the state of mind, i.e. a relationship that is not damaging your health, your body, and so forth, then staying in such relationships can help one to develop deeper insights into their Sufferings.
For instance, one can commit to their dreams of starting a new business and through that journey, one may discover their fears and negativities, i.e. fears of failing, of being judged, themes of impatience, frustration, and so forth.
If one can maintain their commitment whilst holding the intention to know more about themselves and to work on their mind to release these negativities, then these experiences can be highly transformative.
Thus commitment is not about sticking oneself in a relationship to just suffer.
It's about using commitments to uncover one's suffering states of mind and sticking around to explore it so that one can be transformed.
And through that journey, one can be truly released from the suffering states of mind that are making them unable to commit in the first place.
But if one's always escaping relationships when it gets painful, then one will never be able to understand the cause of that pain, thus that pain will be left unaddressed and rise again when one enters into another relationship.
A cycle of neverending pain!
Path Of Creator
Commitment In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey towards greater happiness is about learning to discover one's pains from within and releasing them from the root level of the mind.
These pains can come in many different forms: fears, impatience, doubts, and so forth.
If one can release all their inner pains and traumas, then the mind will naturally remain in its most natural state: in a state of happiness and peacefulness, in every moment, in every kinds of relationships, whether that relationship is one with the world or with oneself.
So if one focuses on working on the suffering states of the mind, without even having to worry about the confusions of how to commit and how long to commit, the issues of commitment will naturally resolve themselves. Because the more one works on their inner pains, the less they will experience them in life, which will improve the quality of the relationship they have with everything in the world.
But that's the destination—towards a state of mind that is released of its pains. The journey towards that state of mind, however, will be a confusing one because when one is affected by the suffering states of mind, one can lack the desire to commit and explore themselves through unpleasant relationships.
When one has too many fears, one can often imagine the worst in all sorts of situations and leave their commitments as soon as their fears kick in.
When one has anger problems, one can leave relationships with those who make one angry when one could simply be over-reacting.
When one has trust issues, one can abandon their business too early as when things don't go according to their plans, not realizing that failing is simply a part of the learning process.
When one has a habit of being impatient with serving customers in their jobs, they can end up leaving the job only to find their impatience rising again when they have to serve customers again in their new job.
Indeed, the unresolved suffering states of the mind can make us over-react and experience great suffering when the experiences we go through in life bring them out. In those moments, all the mind would want to do is to pack its suitcase and leave for a better experience. So, it's completely a common way to react: to leave suffering rather than to commit to it.
That is why the practice of meditation can really help one to clear the confusion and see the possibilities for learning and self-transformation in such suffering moments and commit to it rather than to leave before the lesson begins.
Practising meditation every day will help the mind to become still and not overreact all the time. This will allow one to see that perhaps it's not so much the experience on the outside that is suffering, i.e. to see that the job we're doing and the people we are surrounded with may not be so bad—to see that perhaps it's our mind that needs to be addressed.
But again, it can be difficult for one to use the commitment to suffering experiences to explore one's suffering. Because for some, it can be too painful to endure.
That is why if one wishes to use commitment as a catalyst but too scared to use life experiences, one can use the daily practice of meditation as their source of commitment. By committing to the practice, one will find there will be times in the meditation sessions when one will want to quit the practice as the suffering states of the mind arise; and sometimes, one may even experience great inner-resistances to even begin their practice in fear of the pains that one may encounter. But through the practice, one will realize that if one can sit through the practice with the intention to accept it and observe the present moment as is, these pains will gradually disappear. It is then, one will realize that it is one who has been creating the suffering experience on the inside.
Similarly, the practice of yoga, especially Ashtanga, can also help one to develop the ability to commit to life experiences because as one learns to move from one strenuous pose to another with a calm mind, one will learn to develop the mental courage and capacity to face their suffering experiences in life in the same yogic manner: with peace and patience.
So, meditation and yoga are great practices that one can use to explore their suffering states of the mind without risking anything. Truly helpful and enlightening practices!
Without such practices, the mind can easily overpower us to convince us to run away each time when we are offered an opportunity to explore and illuminate the darkness inside.
The journey of commitment is thus a journey of bringing peace and calm into all levels of The Self, from the physical to mental, in every moment.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
One can simply practise commitment in everyday life by simply prolonging their relationships when they feel like leaving it, i.e. to stay in a job longer, to stay in a relationship with someone longer, to stay with one's exercise goals longer, and so forth.
And as the suffering states of the mind arise, use these unpleasant moments as opportunities to develop greater states of calm, contentment, Self-Acceptance.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Commitment can be developed through meditation by setting a time duration and committing oneself to meditate for that duration at all levels, i.e. to not leave the practice at the physical level through ceasing the practice; to not leave the practice at the emotional / mental level by dwelling in the negative or pleasant thoughts; just simply accepting the experience of the present reality as is rather than trying to change it.
Know and Transform The Self!
Commitment will always require patience and Self-Knowing.
Try the 22 Days Creators Meditation Course to develop Self-Knowing of who you are, of your deepest fears and desires so you can transform them and create greater happiness in life.