Creation Within Creation
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Perfectionist

“The need to be Perfect comes from the belief that one is Imperfect.”

Introduction

Defining A Perfectionist

A perfectionist is one that has expectations towards people and things to be a certain way. And if not, one can be pained by the "imperfect" experience. 

In this article, we will explore the suffering states of a perfectionist mind and the ways to transform it into greater happiness.

Perfectionist In Depth

To a degree, we are all perfectionists as we will all have our own pet peeves, expectations, likes and dislikes. 

So, what's wrong with being a perfectionist?

If we're talking about having the desire to be better at something than before, it can be a good thing. For instance, striving to be a better Self can help one to become a master of a particular skill, to face challenging experiences, to become a more mature person, and so forth. 

However, it's one thing to possess the desire to be more perfect and another to suffer for it. 

Realize that the more one becomes attached to the ideas of a "Perfect Self" the more one will experience the suffering states of mind when one falls short of their expectations. 

Ideas Of Right And Wrong

Realize that the ideas one has of a Perfect Self are essentially the ideas of Right and Wrong. The greater attachment one has to these ideas, the greater expectations one will have towards oneself, others, and things to be in the "right" way; if they are not, one will experience suffering. 

A Perfectionist Mind can make one see the world within a narrow perspective: with only its own. Thus, a Perfectionist mind can lead one to believe that anyone that disagrees with them is wrong because they will not be open to seeing the world from another person's perspective. 

So, it can be difficult for a perfectionist to develop greater wisdom in life. Because to do so will require one to be open-minded enough to challenge one's way of living, i.e. learning to see life experiences from different perspectives, challenge one's habit patterns, do something different than before, and so forth—these are the traits that a Perfectionist can lack. 

When a Perfectionist Mind is so narrowly focused on following their ideas of right and wrong, One's knowing of what love is will remain unchanged. As a result, one's experience of happiness will not grow but remain the same.

Also, a perfectionist can often place too much focus on achieving things outside of themselves. When the source of one's happiness is dependent on what one can achieve in life, life will become a journey of momentary happiness and lengthy disappointments because a perfectionist mind is one that is hard to please. 

So, if one wishes for greater happiness, one can learn to release their attachments to their ideas of what is a Perfect Self and what is an Imperfect Self. 

To discover what kind of ideas of Perfectionism one has become attached to and how deeply one has become attached to these ideas, one can ask the following questions:

"What behaviours do I find disgusting?

"What traits must I have in life?"

"What things do people do that makes me unhappy?"

"What things am I often unhappy about myself?

"What goals must I achieve in life?"

"Will I be uncomfortable with letting go of all my desires and expectations?"

And so forth 

What one will eventually find is that the roots of these "wonderful" ideas that one has of what a Perfect Self is will all stem from the beliefs they have to do with Imperfection. 

Thus, the journey of transforming one's attachment to Perfectionism is a journey of learning to transform one's ideas of Imperfectionism—to see The Self as already being Perfect as is, to see that the world, the strangers, the reflection in the mirror, are already Perfect as is. 

The journey of Unconditional Acceptance will undoubtedly be a challenging journey for a Perfectionist Mind that is so eager on rejecting Imperfection.

But, there are really only two paths in life: To Reject or to Accept. 

If one continues to find things to reject in life, one will descend on the path towards unhappiness. If one wishes for greater happiness, then one has to start learning to do something different: to accept what one cannot accept. 

Importance

Importance Of Addressing Being A Perfectionist

Let us look at some reasons for addressing a Perfectionist mind so that we can develop the motivation to address it. 

A perfectionist who desires to self-improve may often criticize themselves to do better next time like a strict piano teacher would a child. But realize the difference between criticizing and improving oneself to improve. The former will be done out of the states of pain and rejection whilst the latter will be done out of love and happiness. 

So, it's important to look at the intention behind our desire to improve: is it done out of self-criticism or self-love?

Being a perfectionist can also limit one's creative potential because the more attachments one has to the ideas of right and wrong, i.e. of how things should be done, the greater limitations they will place on their creativity. One can also experience more fears and frustration of not meeting their own expectations, which can impede the creative flow. 

A perfectionist mind can also dwell incessantly in the intellectual thoughts of right and wrong, how to prove one's worth, how to win arguments, how to achieve their goals, how to avoid imperfections in their life, and so forth. When the mind is always in the state of thinking, it can be very draining to one's mental and physical wellbeing. 

In terms of relationships, one's ideas of what a Perfect Self is can also drive one to associate themselves with only people they find "worthy." 

One's ideas can also generate fears that one may be seen by others as unworthy if they are not "perfect" enough. The fears of being judged can push one to live a life where much effort is put into one's appearance or skills for the purpose of becoming more "perfect". 

Path Of Creator

Perfectionist In Relation To The Path Of Creator

The journey begins with understanding that it's ok to be who we are, and that when we create attachments to the ideas of who we must be, or how others should be, then these "Perfectionist" ideas can bring one suffering. 

To make progress on the journey, one can begin exploring for the causes as to why one has created such attachments.

One can ask the following questions to develop the Self-Knowing of the deeper causes:

"Do I fear that people will think I'm not likeable, good enough, worthy, etc. if I am not "Perfect?"

"Do I believe that if I don't become a "Perfect" Self, I won't be happy?"

"Do I believe that I can't achieve anything if I don't become a "Perfect" Self? 

The deeper cause to one's attachment to a Perfect Self will always be the Negative Ideas—ideas which promote Self-Rejection—that one has become attached to in the deeper mind. See Catalyst - Negative Ideas for more details.

The journey towards greater happiness will be a journey of developing Self-Acceptance: of learning to accept the imperfections of oneself, of others, and of the world. 

The practice of meditation can help to accelerate one's journey because it will make one ever more aware of how becoming attached to the ideas of a Perfect Self can create so much suffering and chaos in one's mind. The more one practises meditation, the more one will be able to develop this awareness through direct experience. 

Realize that the ideas of a Perfect Self that we can conjure up in the mind may seem wonderful and harmless on the surface, but at the end of the day, they are simply biased ideas opined by the subjective mind. So, there is really no point in becoming attached to these ideas of a Perfect Self because everyone will have their own ideas that can differ from one another. It's much like becoming attached to the idea that vanilla ice cream is the best when everyone has different tastes. 

Thus, if one is holding onto these ideas out of the fear that they might be rejected by others if they are not "perfect", then it's not worth holding onto because there will always be some people out there in the world that will dislike you and there will always be some that will like you no matter how much you change yourself. 

On the journey of Self-Transformation, the Perfectionist Mind will constantly be faced with two paths to choose: to be Perfect, or to be Happy?

The more one spends time in meditation, the clearer the answer will be. Sitting in meditation daily will allow one to experience how joyful it can be to simply sit in the state of Stillness, the state that is without any thoughts about what a Perfect Self is. 

The key to making great progress on one's journey of Self-Transformation will be to develop Self-Acceptance. And this can be difficult for a Perfectionist Mind. Realize that the desire to be Perfect is there because one cannot see oneself as been already Perfect. What this means is that deep inside, one is seeing oneself as Imperfect, one is in a state of Self-Rejection. And because one believes oneself as being imperfect, one will fear being rejected by others in the same way. So, on the journey of learning to accept oneself, one will have to face the issues and fears of Self-Rejection.

This can be done by learning to be more forgiving to oneself and others when they are "imperfect." This can be done by learning to show one's "imperfect" side for the world to see, for instance, when one is not dressed well, or to not have "perfect" manners when speaking. By learning to show and accept one's imperfect side to the world, and at the same time accept other people's imperfections, one will be able to accelerate their journey of releasing their attachments to the ideas of a Perfect Self. 

And as one makes progress on that journey, the fears of making mistakes, of being imperfect, of being rejected will slowly disappear. The Self-expectations and criticisms will cease to happen. With time, one will realize just how freeing it is to simply accept The Self as is.

And the more one learns to accept rather than reject The Self, the more one will know more about themselves because when we are attached to the ideas of who we should be, it will prevent one from exploring the person buried behind these ideas. So the process of Accepting is the process of unveiling, of removing all the excess, unnecessary, self-limiting and judgemental ideas we have created about The Self so that we can come to know the person behind the personality.

The destination is towards the state of unconditional love where we see can finally see that we are actually already Perfect as is! 

Know and Transform The Self!

Reading articles helps with understanding, but to transform the mind, one realizes the truth from experience.

For such an enlightening journey, the Self-Transformation Course has everything you will ever need!

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