"When no one is there to give you a hand, pick yourself up"
There are many of us who are confident on the outside but not so confident on the inside.
Support is about having belief in yourself. The true test of whether we have support of ourselves can be measured from quality of the “Reactions” we experience when we are in a situation where we have to express ourselves out for the world to see or when we have to make a challenging decision. It does not matter how confident we can make ourselves appear on the outside, as long as we experience negative reactions / fears within,that is a sign that there is still room for us to grow – That we need to support ourselves even more.
This article is to address the issues of a lack of support for The Self.
Support In Depth
"When we see others higher than ourselves, then of course we will then see ourselves as lower than them"
When we are constantly experiencing a lack of confidence in all sorts of situations then we should be questioning as to why we have such a lack of support for ourselves.
There are many reasons as to why we have a lack of support to ourselves and one of which is due to the habit of always supporting and loving other people whilst forgetting to direct that love and support to ourselves. See Catalyst - Direction Of Love.
When we support and love other people it can make us experience happiness. And the craving for that happiness can create a habit of always directing that Love outwards forgetting that we can also experience happiness when we direct that Love inwards. Realize that a higher level of happiness and contentment can be experienced when we can balance the imbalance by learning how to direct Love in both directions and that wisdom will naturally come with time and experience through trying to direct support in both directions.
Importance Of Addressing Issues Of Support
It is important to address the issues of a lack of support to oneself.
When one has a lack of support for oneself one will lack the convictions in one’s beliefs and as a result one will often complete things half-way.
One can also develop a habit of always agreeing with others or always submitting to other people’s ideas even when may not completely agree with them. With this habit, one can often get into a situation when after agreeing with a person one regrets in having done so. Then after that one will experience regret and self-criticism, perhaps even making promises to oneself to stand up for themselves next time only to fall into the same situation again and again.
The effect of a lack of support for oneself can also create an impediment to one's path to self-knowing. Because when one cares excessively about how other people may perceive them, it can lead one to become an actor and an actress rather than being and expressing who they really are. As a result, one goes through life learning how to “act” rather than to “be.”
When one has a lack of support for oneself, one can end up compensating this by continuously seek support from other people. In this situation, when one's opinion is not approved by others, one can experience anger and the need to blame others for the lack of support rather than to realize that one is simply lacking support for oneself.
Physically the energy concerned with support has strong metaphysical ties with the spine and the muscles of the back. Any issues to do with support can manifest itself as different forms of back problems as a way of the body to communicate with The Self that something needs to be addressed at a deeper level.
Path Of Creator
Support In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The Path begins with understanding about the importance of supporting oneself.
This usually involves realizing from experience the amount of Suffering one can experience from a lack of support for oneself.
The journey is in developing the Knowing of the Cause of the imbalance of a lack of love within and addressing this imbalance.
The destination is towards Two-Way support, towards Other Selves at the same time towards One Self. And in reaching this destination one will realize that there is a difference between supporting oneself more than the other Self and Rejecting others more than oneself. In the former there is no negativity both ways whilst in the latter there is.
The building of support can start with us supporting others as much as we support ourselves, and to support ourselves as we support others. This can prove to be utmost challenging when we are in doubt of ourselves or others. But clarity comes when one understands that the support is not so much about hoping for a result to come but rather it is about developing a positive state of mind.
Thus the destination is not about becoming supportive of oneself through always winning an argument, but rather to reach a state of acceptance and support for oneself and others at the reaction level.
The Seed Cause to all forms of Sufferings will always come back to Negative Ideas. In terms of a lack of support, the theme behind the Negative Ideas which will promote a lack of support will usually revolve around Ideas about “How I should be in order to please others.”“How I should be so I would not be rejected.” And so forth.
The following are some wisdom that may help you to catalyze your journey of transforming your Negative Ideas.
Whose shoes are you in?
When we place too much focus on loving other people and understanding them, it is easy for us to be in a continual process of putting ourselves in someone's shoes in the attempts of trying to understand things from their perspective. I.e. why did they say these things, why did they do this to us?
It is always good to do this to get a broader perspective of a situation, but when we forget to come back to our own shoes to understand how we truly feel and think about the situation then we can easily lose ourselves and begin living in someone else’s shoes.
Everyone will always have their own definition of what love is, so obviously if we think hard enough we can always understand why people do certain things. But love can only balanced when we can express our true selves rather than agreeing with others just because we understand them. There is nothing wrong with sharing an opposing view as this can help share information and bring growth to both sides.
Thus if you find yourself always expressing yourself out of the desire to agree with others, allow yourself to step back from their shoes and begin thinking about your own opinion and express them as well. This is how Ideas can be shared and built upon.
"The Greatest Love you can give is by supporting The Self"
The greatest love we can give to each other is Unconditional Acceptance.
When we lack support, it is easy for us to immediately think that we are "wrong" in whatever we are doing. The Path begins with the understanding that there are a million ways of looking at every kind of situation, thus all perspectives are equally valid. Thus how much one will support oneself will depend on how much one believes in one's own view.
The journey thus is about learning how to lean towards positivity rather than negativity in whatever things we do. Because we can never predict how people will react and the outcome of what we do or say. Also realize that from the perspective of the Deeper Mind, the success in expressing our beliefs is never in the outcome, but rather in how much we support our convictions. I.e. how much do we support ourselves in the time we express ourselves and how much we support ourselves when others do not support us.
With time, what we will also realize is that the more we support ourselves, other people will also find it easier to support us. This is because people often judge each other by the covers - they rather follow a confident person with no content rather than a doubtful person with content. This is because Self-Support inspires Self-Support.
"If you feel that you don't have a valuable point, then make your point valuable!"
When we lack support for ourselves it is easy to withhold our opinions back in the belief that it is not even worth to being heard. When we doubt ourselves in this way we are in fact inspiring ourselves to fail becausewhenever we speak out of doubt we will be so focused towards failing we will not have enough room in the mind to think of ways to succeed.
Thus if you have fallen to the belief that you have a worthless point but yet you want to express it, tell yourself that if it not valuable, then make it valuable! Use body language, use examples, use humour, use ways to make the point valid and convincing. A point can only be as wonderful as much as you believe and act it out to be as others can only be as convinced as much as you are convinced in your own beliefs. .
"There is no right and wrong, for there are infinite of ways of judging a cup of water. What support boils down to is how much you support your own point of view."
Develop Experienced Knowledge
When you find yourself in situations where you think people would blame you for something that you've done or are doing or will do, try to find ways to believe that this is “right” and think of reasons to support yourself. The task is not in doing something “right” or “wrong” but simply to find ways to support yourself.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
When you meditate and feel like you cannot meditate for the length that you have given yourself for, simply try to find way to support yourself at an mental level i.e. creating the “belief” that you can make it through.
Courses On Support
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