"It is by making a decision that one learns how to make a decision"
We will all encounter situations where we will be confused about what decision to make when there are many available options for us to choose from.
For instance, we can become indecisive in what food to choose when we are presented with a list of food to choose from at a restaurant. We can be indecisive in where to travel when we try to plan our trips overseas. We can even be indecisive about what paths to take in life and what dreams to chase.
For some people it is easy to be decisive and for others it is hard.
Let us look deeper to understand what limits our abilities to be decisive and examine the cause of Indecisiveness.
Indecisiveness In Depth
Our tendency to be indecisive can come from the lack of opportunities we had in expressing our feelings and thoughts during our childhood years. Perhaps our loved ones took away our opportunity to express ourselves fully and doubted us that we'd do the right things and make the right decisions. Perhaps they have always criticised us of being wrong which leads us to unconsciously believe that every choice we make may lead to the wrong one. Perhaps we depended too much on others and had them make choices for us. These are just a few possibilities as to why we are indecisiveness. However, realize that childhood experiences simply is bringing out into light the inner issues that are already there.
In the present moment, to address decisiveness we have to begin making decisions. These may not necessarily have to be Big decisions, but small decisions are equally as important.
And what do we mean by decisions?
A decision means to make a choice out of the many options offered to us. Options at the very fundamental level obviously is a choice between Yes or No.
And at a more sophisticated level can comprise of many more options i.e. choosing one meal for lunch out of 100 items offered.
To develop the Knowing of just how indecisive one is, when one is offered an opportunity to make such decisions one can simply observe just how much inner-resistance there is to do so and also observe if one has a habit of giving the opportunity away to someone else to make the decision for them.
Importance Of Addressing Indecisiveness
Most of us may think that been indecisive is not an issue that is required to be addressed. It is often only when one looks for the deeper causes of one’s indecisiveness that one realizes the importance of addressing it – because by looking for these we will uncover Sufferings / Negativities / Fears of the mind.
It is important to address any issues to do with indecisiveness because overtime indecisiveness can affect one’s life in many ways.
Through the habit of being indecisive one can start living a life where one simply allow others to make decisions for them or allow one’s “luck” to take them to places rather than taking the responsibility of creating one's own future. When one lacks the ability to make decisions then what happens is that one can only live to receive rather than achieve. One can end up with friends or jobs that may not be beneficial for them. One can also begin to experience doubts about what to do in the future because of a lack of Knowing of what one truly wants - due to a lack of sincere questioning of what decisions to make.
Indecisiveness can also lead to a lot of unnecessary time and energy wasted on deciding what to do. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships where the indecisive person can end up in a relationship with a person who takes on the responsibility of making decisions for them. What happens is that the person will end up relying on that person and later find themselves incapable of leaving even if the relationship end up to be a suffering one.
Path Of Creator
Indecisiveness In Relation To The Path Of Creator
As one begins to develop the Knowing of the deeper cause of one’s indecisiveness one will discover that it’s because of a lack of Knowing Of The Self. I.e. what one truly desires or wants. And the lack of knowing will come from a lack of decision making - whether it is due to plain laziness or because one is in fear of making a wrong decision - either way it's simply escaping Self-Responsibility.
At The Idea Level
Many Negative Ideas can promote Indecisiveness.
Let us look at the following in particular.
“It is not ok to be wrong”
For the mind which carries the Negative Idea, The Self will experience the fear of making the wrong decisions.
The spiritual lessons that The Self will have to go through to Transform and Release the Idea will often be lessons involving Self-Acceptance. And these lessons usually are about developing Self-Acceptance towards The Self even when it makes a wrong decision. Thus there will be a theme of Self-Judgement that will have to be addressed.
Realize that if one has no judgement towards oneself then one will be able to make all sorts of choices regardless of the outcome. Thus part of the journey is about having support for oneself, having forgiveness and compassion for oneself even when one makes the wrong decisions. Without it then one will only carry Negativity towards oneself when one makes the wrong decision - and that is one of the reasons why one would not want to make decisions out of the fear of the Self-Punishment that will happen.
It is by making a decision that one learns how to make a decision
Although our fears of being wrong can make us feel safer that it’s better not to make decisions if we simply allow others to make it for us, realize that we will never learn how to make a decision if we never take the step to make decisions ourselves.
And when we take full responsibility, it is then we will be able to experience the full intensity of being “Wrong” if we do end up making a wrong decision. This will allow us to develop the Knowing of what decisions not to make and what decisions to make next time. And also this will allow us to develop Forgiveness and Compassion towards ourselves. And if we do make a “Right” decision it is then we will be able to develop the confidence of making more decisions in the future.
Thus making a decision is a win-win for The Self who is on the spiritual path of Knowing The Self and developing Inner Power.
Realize that there is a connection between indecisiveness and a lack of Trust in oneself. See Trust – Catalyst for more details.
The journey of becoming more decisive through decision making will take us to the understanding that we can never predict an outcome. For instance, we can never know if the food we ordered will be good and delicious because its fate is in the hands of the chef. Likewise, we can never know if the house we buy is going to be a good investment because we cannot predict if a storm will come the next day and blow it away. Thus the focus of being decisive is not about “predicting” the future, it is rather about developing Trusting The Self to make the decision and Loving The Self if the outcome turns out to be an undesired one.
The Destination is towards the Acceptance of The Self before, during and after a decision is made.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Through challenging ourselves to make choices when our fears surface i.e. fears of failure, fears of being judged, fears of not making the best ”decision” and so forth will allow us to develop the Knowing of our Sufferings.
Thus in such a scenario, simply tell yourself to not make a decision for the goal of it being "right" or being the "best choice” but rather with a goal to “Know The Self.”
The Creator's MeditationLink here
You can develop decisiveness in the Creator’s Meditation by moving decisively through one part of the body to another in your body journey. And then carry that same mentality towards everything you do in life.
Courses On Indecisiveness
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