"We fear being punished in the same way we wish to punish othes"
Blame is defined here as an act of accusing someone of doing something wrong.
In this article, we will explore the negative states of mind we can experience when we are blamed by others for doing something wrong, whether it was done accidentally or purposefully.
This article is not about whether or not the act of blaming is good or bad, but rather it is about how to transform and release this negative state of mind so that one can be happy.
Blame In Depth
To begin, let us first realize that when people blame us, it may not necessarily be that we actually did something wrong. The reason could be an entirely subjective one where they "believe" that we have done something wrong.
It's thus important to note that people will always have their own definitions of what is right and wrong, so it is possible to encounter situations where we are blamed by others for no good reason at all.
For instance, one may think that it's better to give their partner time and space after an argument, but the other person may perceive this as the wrong thing to do.
So again, this article is not about deciding when to blame, when not to blame, when to accept blame or not because every situation is different.
This article is about learning to be happy in every moment, so let us explore the negative states of mind in regards to blame.
When we are blamed by someone else, some of us can react quite negatively to the experience. And that is the negative state of mind that we are focusing on when we are transforming the mind. These negative states of the mind can often include the states of fear, anger, judgement, analysis and so forth.
From a psychological perspective, the fears of being blamed would have been brought out during childhood by our parents who are always blaming us for doing the wrong things. As our parents are the earliest symbols of authority of what is right and wrong, the "teachings" from our parents can induce a state of unworthiness and unfairness in us. So similarly, when someone blames us in life, it can arouse similar negative reactions.
But from the perspective of Self-Transformation, the negative state of mind was already there at birth, and the life experiences we go through in life merely acts as the catalyst to bring it out into the light, which helps us to work on the spiritual lessons behind our life experiences.
As one dives deeper into one's mind to observe what has created the fear of prosecution, one will undoubtedly encounter the themes of Self-Judgement.
We all fear being blamed and prosecuted because no one likes to be judged negatively. Afterall, we are all inherently born with the need to love others and to be loved as the deeper mind sees that all is The Self.
And even deeper, ironically, it is through our desire and need we have to punish other people for doing something wrong that sustains the negativity and fear of being prosecuted by others because we fear that people will punish us in the same way we wished to punish others when similar mistakes are made.
Thus to truly release ourselves from such fears, we not only have to learn to accept others when they commit wrongful acts but also to look at the cause as to why we want to punish others. Thus Forgiveness and Self-Knowing are transformative practices that one can use to release the fears. The more one can forgive others, the more one will be able to forgive oneself. The more one knows One Self, the more one will know where the fears are coming from and what needs to be worked through. Usually the fears of being blamed by others can be about issues revolving around "control" and "responsibilities."
At the end of the day, all fears will always recede to one root cause which is the lack of Self-Acceptance.
When one no longer lacks Self-Acceptance, one will no longer feel the need to justify oneself out of fear when one is being blamed wrongfully. Thus developing support for oneself is a good start for addressing such fears and negativities.
Importance Of Addressing The Fear Of Being Blamed
It is important to address the Fear of being blamed.
The Fear of Prosecution can be very draining to the mind as it can make us overly "defensive" and imagine all the possible scenarios of people blaming us. It can even make us argue with "imaginary" Selves in our mind.
The fearful mind can even make us convinced that we have done something wrong when we haven't.
Do you often find yourself imagining people blaming you or criticizing you?
When we experience the Fear of getting blamed, instead of looking at how to solve a solution to a problem at hand, we can end up devoting our energy to escaping the undesirable situation. When our energy is focused and directed into being defensive, it can then make one appear even more guilty, and thus more deserving to be blamed. So, our fears can make us do counterproductive things. Ideally, the energy is better put to developing Self-Confidence instead.
When one has a fear of being blamed, one can also experience an imbalance of energy in the throat chakra area. This can lead to problems with self-expression and confusion as to how to speak out in situations where one desires to correct other people's mistakes.
Are you often fearful of conforntations?
Path Of Creator
Blame In Relation To The Path Of Creator
Blame In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The destination is to reach a state of mind where we can naturally accept ourselves and others even when we are blamed—even if it is for the wrong reasons.
The journey will involve the accumulation of the wisdom that people will always see you for how they want to see you rather than who you really are.
So the journey of Self-Transformation is not so much about wasting energy in trying to control how others perceive us—i.e. how to get others to agree with us—but rather in using the energy to express to the whole world who you really are and how you honestly think inside.
And whether or not people will believe and love you for who you truly are will always be up to their own choice.
The importance of the Self-Transformation progress is in whether or not you can accept others and yourself unconditionally.
Naturally, as we develop Belief in ourselves, the confidence to stand up for ourselves, people will begin to know and accept who we are at a subconscious level. The more we develop Self-Belief and the ability to stand up for ourselves, the more others will naturally think twice before accusing us because.
Thus there is no need to focus on how to get out of getting blamed because as one develops Self-Confidence, naturally fewer people will bother us for the wrong reasons.
Once you release the fear of getting blamed, you probably won't even notice when others are blaming you.
Thus simply place the focus on transforming and releasing your Suffering States of mind and all will fall into place. At the beginning of your journey, the fearful mind can compel you over-think things, so the practice of meditation is especially helpful for you to bring Stillness to the mind so that you can work on what is most important—Self-Acceptance.
At The Idea Level
One may discover the following ideas in their journey towards self-discovery.
"It is not ok to be wrong"
This is an example of a Negative Idea that can drive the fear of being blamed. The transition towards the positive declaration begins by learning to accept other people when they have done something wrong or when you have done something wrong.
A note here is that the Acceptance is not reached through suppressing one's own opinion and giving into the opinion of other's, but rather it is throughlearning to accept the opinion of other's opinion at the same time accepting one's own.
Self-Acceptance will always be bi-directional because to the Mind there is really only One Self.
It will take time for one to develop the wisdom and overcome varying stages of confusion to achieve such balance and harmony of Self-Acceptance.
After the negative idea is transformed, the person will be able to freely accept oneself and others when wrong things have been done. One will also be able to freely choose how they wish to address that situation through the state of wisdom rather than the negative states of the mind.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
When you are being blamed for the wrong reason, simply try to express yourself. And it does not matter if you ultimately do so or not because it is through the intention of trying to do so that you can uncover the fears and negativities hidden deep within.
And when these dark states of the mind do come out, simply observe them with a Still Mind to develop the Knowing even further.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Whenever you experience inner dialogues of trying to defend yourself against people’s accusations of you, simply refocus your attention on the body journey with a calm mind. When you do this, you are practising the art of developing self-belief and compassion towards yourself. Why should you let other people's opinions affect you?
This is the art of being happy when others are not happy with you!
Know and Transform The Self!
The more forgiving we are towards others, the less fears we will experience in others punishing us.
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to naturally let go of judgement towards yourself and others in a powerful way to create greater happiness within.