"When you can accept and love the impossible, all is possible"
Forgiveness is the act of trying to Accept a situation or someone who has made you upset / angry.
For instance, there will always be a time when we will meet that “special” someone who will always say the wrong things to us, or do things which offends us
In life, it is inevitable that we will meet someone who will be impossible to accept.
And to accept this person as who they are begins with Forgveness.
In practice, forgiveness is about trying our best to let go of our anger when we are in a conflict with this “special” someone. In that moment of experiencing anger, it can be difficult to simply let go of our negativities because our anger can easily convince us to hold onto it tightly until it blows up.
This article looks at the ways we can use forgiveness as a catalyst in transforming the suffering states of the mind.
Forgiveness In Depth
When we cannot accept someone for who they are, we will want to change (control) them. For instance, to change their opinions, to change their ways of doing things so that we won't be hurt by them again.
Forgiveness at a deeper level is about Accepting people for who they are. It is about directing unconditional love towards them without expecting them to change.
Although this is not to say that forgiveness is about allowing someone to continue to hurt us. But rather here the focus is in not the “action” i.e. what to do and say to those people who hurt us, but rather here the focus is in addressing the Negativities experienced from within when we meet these people who seem impossible to be around with. And naturally once the negativity within is addressed then one will gain greater clarity in how to deal with these "Impossible Selves" at the external level.
Importance Of Using Forgiveness
It is important to develop the ability to forgive people.
This is because the inability to forgive people is a sign that one has not yet mastered ones emotions – that their emotions have become the master of them.
Also realize that when we are in a state of anger or frustration towards someone, we are in a state of unhappiness.
From the outside, it may seem that we are doing justice by been mean to someone who has just made us angry, but on the inside we are actually inflicting damage onto ourselves as well – because that state of Anger is very damaging to not only to ourselves at the physical level but also at the emotional and mental level.
The state of anger in fact can bring all sorts of negative physical sensations to surface throughout the body i.e. making the blood rushed and the breathing irregular and this can really affect the immune system in a negative way.
At the inner level of the mind the state of anger can also bring great confusion and stimulation which can un-ground The Self and bring everything out of focus.
Holding in anger will also block one from developing the Knowing Of The Self because when we are in anger we will be so focused on the ideas on how to inflict damage to the other person who has inflicted damage to us. That desire of hurting someone will only make us look outwards into the cause of our Suffering rather than inwards where it lies the Deeper Cause – the Negative Ideas.
Path Of Creator
Forgiveness In Relation To The Path Of Creator
On the Path of developing greater happiness we have to transform and release our Sufferings.
To do this will always require Stillness. Because it is from the point of Stillness that everything can be seen in clarity and without distortion.
Disturbance is the opposite of Stillness. We can experience disturbance in the Mind whenever we experience Suffering i.e. when we experience impatience, when we experience doubt, when we experience judgement and so forth.
The ability to be Still in those moments of impatience can be said to be Patience.
The ability to be Still in those moments of doubt can be said to be Trust.
And in terms of anger, the ability to be still in the moments of Anger is Forgiveness.
Thus everytime we try to be Still when we experience Suffering is a Catalyst in itself. Because as we try to be Still in those moments we will encounter an Inner Resistance to not be Still. It is then we can question the Cause of the Inner Resistance which will take us to its Deeper Cause.
Thus this article is mainly addressing about how to develop Stillness in the moments we experience Anger. Forgiveness is one of the greatest catalysts which will take one to Develop the Knowing of the Deeper Causes of one’s Anger.
At The Idea Level
Briefly speaking, as one journeys on their Path towards finding the Deeper Causes for their anger, the spiritual lessons that they will go through will always involve the lessons of Self-Acceptance.
The Negative Ideas in relation to Anger in particular will always be Ideas about “How the Self Should Be.”
Here one will accumulate the wisdom that when we reject a part of someone, it is simply a sign that we reject that part of ourselves as well I.e. When we reject someone who does something we perceive as "Selfish" we are simply declaring to ourselves that if we did what that person did we would reject ourselves as well.
The journey thus will be about developing Forgiveness towards others and ourselves.
The journey begins with the understanding that Forgiveness is a State rather than an Action. Although it can be helpful to forgive others through our actions, but realize that the focus of the journey of Self-Transformation is about reaching Forgiveness at the state of mind.
Thus it is about developing the “intention” to forgive - or more precisely, the intention to be Still and Accepting when one feels the need to Reject the Other Self or Oneself. This is how Stillness is developed and refined.
The destination of the journey is not so much in becoming a master at forgiveness, but to reach a state of acceptance where there is no more need to forgive because it doesn't bother us anymore.
Two Way Forgiveness
A catalyst that can be used in the journey is the understanding that forgiveness is most effective when it is directed Two-Ways rather than One way. Because we can never truly forgive someone if we do not forgive ourselves. I.e. if we keep being angry at ourselves for being slow, then we will never be able to truly forgive someone they are slow and vice versa.
Realize that there is only One Self in the Deeper Mind, thus always be aware of this when you are experiencing negativities such as anger because when we experience anger we can easily fall into the illusion that the anger is being directed outwards but with higher awareness we may find that the anger is also directed towards ourselves as well.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Whenever you experience anger simply try your best to forgive the other person. And as you do this you will find it impossible in the very beginning but throughout time you will find it easier and easier.
And when you forgive realize that the focus is on the “State” i.e. in the attempt to try to let go of all negative emotions and thoughts to that particular person.
Whatever Action one wishes to use to solve the situation at the external level will be up to everyone’s free will to make choices but realize that we will always be responsible for every action that we make in life.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
No matter what form of suffering or negativity i.e. Anger, Frustration that one experiences from the meditation, try to let it go. How this is done in meditation is to simply observe the body journey with Stillness. By doing this we are learning how to develop stability and not feed any negative energy to sustain our Suffering State. This is the practice of forgiveness at the energetic state.
Know and Transform The Self!
It can be difficult to forgive someone when we see them as "Other-Selves"
The 10 Day One-Self Catalyst will help you to see that there really is just One Self. In this course you will learn how to naturally let go of judgement towards yourself and others in a powerful way to create greater happiness within.