"We love to hate ourselves"
Self-Criticism is defined here as the state of mind when we judge ourselves or others. These can be situations when one has failed in something, when one has underperformed, when one has done something wrong and so forth.
This article will address the Suffering State experienced when in Self –Criticism.
Criticism In Depth
Why do we criticise The Self?
We criticize The Self when we see The Self as “Bad” “Wrong” “Undesirable” “Inferior” and so forth.
Basically, when we see The Self as Imperfect
Importance Of Addressing Criticism
It is important to address any issues relating to Self-Criticism because Self-Criticism not only brings Sufferings to The Self, but also great limitations to one’s Creative Potential.
When we have a habit of criticising ourselves, what happens is that this habit can make it difficult for us to see positive side about ourselves when things go wrong. This can lead to situations where we are constantly blaming ourselves when things go wrong, even when it is not our fault.
Do you criticize yourself more than you applaude yourself?
The habit of Self-Criticism can make us blind to the good side of ourselves and others. Thus Self-Criticism can make us pessimistic and see the world in a darker light which will greatly affect our freedom to experience happiness.
Path Of Creator
Self Criticism In Relation To The Path Of Creator
When we are in the state of Self-Criticism we are Suffering.
The journey begins with understanding this so that one may realize the importance of taking the journey to release and transform this particular state of mind.
Throughout life one will eventually accumulate the wisdom that all attributes of The Self can always be seen in a positive light including even the "bad ones" labelled by society.
When one gains this wisdom they will be able to realize that all parts of The Self are worthy of love and applause. For instance, Arrogance can often seen in a bad light, but Arrogance can be used to lead people towards your goals. For instance, Selfish is often seen in a bad light, but if you are too selfless then you can lack love for yourself and people will then take advantage of you.
So on the journey of Self-Transformation, one will eventually realize that all parts of The Self is Great and Worthy to be loved. All parts of The Self will always have their use at the proper time and place. For why is there a need to reject a certain color of the personality?
Be a painter, and learn how to use every color to create a masterpiece. This is how you can unleash your fullest potential and create greater happiness in life.
However, it can be difficult to reach the realization that All Selves are worthy of loved when one has issues with Self-Criticism. Because with Self-Criticism, one will not be able to see the positive side of all that we are i.e. we will see only the Negative Side – i.e. to see Selfishness as unloving, see arrogance as being a showoff, see slowness as ineffective and undesirable and so forth.
Thus what one really needs to address is the "habit" of Self-Criticism.
Realize that when one has a habit of only seeing the cup as half empty, one will not even be able to see one’s own attributes even if it is good, even if one has received an applause after one’s speech, even if one has made a great business success, if one has come a long way in life. In Self-Criticism, The Self can end up just ignoring one's achievement and focus instead on what one does not yet have rather than appreciate what one already has achieved.
So it's important to start learning how to accept yourself for who you are.
It's important to discover the states of Self-Criticism that is happening deep within the mind. You can do this by discovering the Negative Ideas you carry, for it is from the Negative Beliefs we have about ourselves and the world that causes the states of Self-Criticism to be experienced.
At The Idea Level
The Seed Cause of all forms of Sufferings will all recede back to Negative Ideas.
Negative Ideas are Ideas which promote the Rejection of Self.
Some examples of Negative Ideas
I.e. “It is not ok to be lazy”
I.e. “It is not ok to be the best”
I.e. “It is not ok to be wrong”
You can explore the Catalyst Section of this website to find the Catalysts that is related to these Negative Ideas
Greatness Is Everywhere
In life, it can be easy to criticize ourselves for who we are. For instance, we can criticize ourselves for being too quiet, or being too loud. We can criticize ourselves for failing in something, or under-performing in a particular task.
But on the journey of Self-Transformation, one will eventually learn that to improve oneself does not require self-criticism but rather just the intention to improve, that's it!
So realize that whatever you do in life, is all worthy of applause!
Let me give you an example.
Throughout life what we will find is that no matter how ugly someone is, there will always be someone out there that would find that person pretty.
And what you will also discover is that this will not only apply to physical features, but also to the way we judge the mental and emotional features in Other Selves as well i.e. There will always be someone who will find the trait of arrogance attractive and there will be those who would find the trait of being Angry or Selfish attractive.
So the issue here is not in whether or not we have worthy attributes.
The issue here is why we cannot see and accept all parts of ourselves as worthy?
Why do we choose to criticize The Self instead?
The short answer
This is because of lack of Compassion and Forgiveness we have for The Self. Thus the destination towards greater happiness is towards developing forgiveness and unconditional love towards The Self.
So that is the destination, which is to realize that we are already Perfect. From this perspective then, the journey of Self-Transformation is about releasing all the Negative Ideas that is preventing us from seeing this Truth. This is how one can truly release all their fears, anger, Suffering States of the mind - Unhappiness.
So remember that the key to Transforming all your Sufferings is to develop Self-Acceptance!
Develop Experienced Knowledge
One of the ways one can catalyze the transformation of this particular form of Suffering is to find ways to compliment oneself every day. This can include complimenting one’s own personality, one’s own actions – basically anything that one can find to compliment on.
In times when we try to compliment ourselves when we have an issue with Self-Criticism, what will happen is that we will encounter Inner Resistance and thereby refuse to accept those parts of ourselves that we are trying to compliment on. Inner Resistance is usually experienced when the internal issues of Self-Criticism is brought out in Light and challenged. So doing this can help us to heighten our awareness of the internal issues that needs to be addressed.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Simply observe the Body Journey with a Still Mind.
Even if you make a mistake in your meditation practice, even if you fail to sit for the full length of the meditation practice, even if you start wandering in your meditation sessions, observe the Body Journey with a Still Mind.
This will help you to observe for any Self-Criticism behind the scenes. And by not feeding into The Self-Criticism by maintaining Stillness, this is how one develops compassion and forgiveness for oneself at the Reactional Level.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Criticism. In this course you will learn how to naturally let go of judgement towards yourself and others in a powerful way to create greater happiness within.