"We love to hate ourselves!"
The state of Self-criticism is a state of mind one can experience when one is not happy with oneself. For instance, these can be moments when one finds a pimple on their face or in moments when one underperforms a task. One can also find things to criticize about their lifestyle, their circle of friends or the lack of them, their weaknesses and their flaws, and the list goes on.
Basically, Self-criticism is a state of mind when one sees that there is something Imperfect about The Self. And likewise, one can criticize Other Selves when they find imperfections in them as well.
Self-Criticism is a suffering state of mind that can exist in many forms, i.e. self-judgement, regret, doubt, guilt, self-disapproval, self-hate, Self-Rejection, and so forth.
It's not a pleasant state of mind to be in!
In this article, we will briefly talk about the ways to transform a Self-Criticizing mind into a more Self-Loving mind. If one wishes to explore the other Self-Rejection states of mind in detail, one can visit the Catalyst-Suffering section of the website.
Criticism In Depth
Why do we criticise The Self?
We all know what we want in life: happiness rather than sadness.
So, why are we always choosing to be in the suffering states of mind?
For instance, why are we always choosing to dwell in anger rather than to simply let it go, why are always choosing to dwell in the regrets of what we've done wrong in the past rather than simply enjoy the Present moment?
Why are we always choosing to reject ourselves than to accept The Self?
On the surface, there can be many reasons.
Perhaps, one is not aware that one is always criticizing oneself. This can happen when one's focus is placed too outward on the world outside. That is why the practice of meditation can help to develop such an awareness because meditation will help to draw one's focus more inwards so that one can become aware of the thoughts and emotions that are happening throughout the day, making them realize of the moments when they are in Self-Criticism.
The other reason for one to have such a Self-Critical Mind may be that one has created a belief that Self-Criticism is necessary for whatever reason.
Perhaps one has believed that Self-Criticism is necessary for self-improvement, or that Self-Criticism is necessary as a form of punishment to atone for their wrongdoings. Or perhaps, one feels the need to dwell in Self-Criticism because they have failed to meet their expectations of what a Perfect Self should be.
Thus, if one wishes to explore the deeper causes of their need to "Criticize" themselves, one need to discover the beliefs that has created such a need.
The following questions can help one to discover their beliefs:
"What are my ideas of a Perfect Self?"
"What kind of person and traits am I striving to become?"
"What are my flaws and imperfections?"
"What do I need to work on more to be a better Self?"
Also, exploring how one may have picked up these ideas in their lives can help one to find clues to their deeper causes. For instance, one can explore the relationship they have with their parents when they were young. Was the relationship a healthy one where Self-Acceptance was taught? Or was Self-Rejection taught more?
But the practice of meditation will always be the most useful tool for Self-Knowing because it is by observing the Self in the Present Moment that one can discover the solutions to the problems they are facing in the current time.
Becoming aware of Self-Criticism
Realize that the importance of addressing the states of Self-Criticism can be easily overlooked because one may see it as a necessary state of mind one to have if one wishes to Self-Improve.
To improve the Self is certainly an admirable intention to have, but to suffer for that intention is unnecessary.
The suffering states of mind will always be experienced when we become attached to our beliefs of who we should be, so when we strive to self-improve out of that state of mind, we will experience suffering whenever we fail to meet our expectations. Thus, to address Self-Criticism is not so much about addressing our desires to Self-Improve, but rather, to address the attachment we have towards it, i.e. to accept that it's ok if we fail, if we underperform, if we are imperfect, and so forth.
Thus, at the end of the day, the journey of addressing Self-Criticism is a journey of learning to accept ourselves unconditionally—A journey of developing Self-Acceptance.
Path Of Creator
Self Criticism In Relation To The Path Of Creator
Self-Criticism is a hurtful state of mind. And it's only when we observe inwards that we can realize that we are the ones doing the hurting.
We can begin their journey by learning that the deeper causes of self-criticism come from within—from us choosing to reject ourselves rather than to accept and forgive ourselves.
To make progress on the journey of transforming the states of Self-Criticism, one can learn to accept oneself more. This can be done at the state of mind by carrying the intention to Accept oneself more every day. And the journey can be accelerated by one carrying that intention into whatever they do in life.
For instance, to carry the intention to accept oneself whenever one fails, make mistakes, underperform, and so forth.
One can go even further into developing Self-Acceptance by showing the "imperfect" sides of themselves to the world instead of always trying to hide them. This can be done by doing things that can make one fear Self-Rejection, for instance, learning to give answers to questions that may be wrong, expressing one's honest opinions more for others to judge, wearing less makeup, caring about one's appearance less, and so forth. The more one can show their "imperfect side" to the world, the more one will have opportunities to accept it, and maybe even realize that these sides of themselves may not be as imperfect as one thought they were.
The more one can accept themselves, the fewer reasons there will be for the states of Self-Criticism to arise.
Developing Self-Acceptance thus is the true solution to addressing one's state of Self-Criticism.
A way to accelerate the journey is by learning to direct the intention to unconditionally Accept The Self towards other people too. Because by accepting the parts of others that one cannot accept, one is essentially learning to accept the parts of oneself that one cannot accept, for there is no such thing as different Selves to the Deeper Mind—All is The Self.
The more one carries the intention to Accept The Self, the more one will see the reasons for acceptance: one will gradually see that each part of The Self—and everything that one does in life—are all worthy to be loved.
One will realize that every "imperfect" trait will always have their place and worth in oneself. For instance, the parts of The Self that is arrogant, lazy, selfish, stupid, etc. are all valuable in their own rights. The more one can accept themselves, the more potential one will have to create what they desire, much like the way a painter uses his colours: the more a painter rejects a certain colour, the more limited he will become.
By carrying the intention to Accept "imperfect" experiences, one will also see their worth as well. For instance, one may start to see that by failing, one can gain greater confidence; by underperforming, one can learn to care less about the need to overperform all the time; by making the wrong choices, one can grow even more wisdom to know the right choices, and so forth.
Thus, the journey of developing Self-Acceptance will only get easier with time. Realize that the journey of transforming the mind will always be the most difficult at the beginning because the Mind will always come up with reasons to keep you there, stagnant and unchanging. But the more you challenge the mind, the more you will see the reason to move towards newer and more loving states of mind.
The destination is towards seeing that all parts of The Self are worthy to be loved; it is then that one will no longer find a reason to criticize The Self.
Know and Transform The Self!
Reading articles helps with understanding, but to transform the mind, one realizes the truth from experience.
For such an enlightening journey, the Self-Transformation Course has everything you will ever need!