"Confrontation without negativities is simply the sharing of honest thoughts"
Confrontation is basically the act of telling someone that they are doing something wrong.
For instance, when we are being treated wrongly and unfairly by others, we may want to let the other person know how we feel. Or when we find that our colleagues are doing something wrong at work, we may want to tell them about it.
Having such discussions with Other-Selves can be a daunting act to do for some. In such situations, unpleasant emotions such as fears and anger can often be experienced.
In this article, we will look at the negative states of the mind that one can experience when confronting others, and we'll look at the ways to use the experience to uncover the spiritual lessons waiting to be discovered from within.
Confrontation In Depth
To begin, this article is not about weighing the good and bad of confronting people. Whether one wishes to confront others is entirely up to one's own free will. The focus of this article is about addressing the negative states of mind that can be experienced when confronting others.
For some, it can be easy to confront a person when they are doing something wrong. For others, it can be difficult because of the unpleasant emotions and thoughts it can bring out within.
The focus of transforming the mind will always be in uncovering these negativities states of the mind within so that one can work on them to experience greater happiness in life.
However in saying this, the act of confronting someone can indeed help one to uncover these negativities, so it can be used as a catalyst to accelerate Self-Transformation through developing Self-Knowing.
Importance Of Addressing Confrontation
It is important to address the negative states of mind experienced when one is in the act of confronting someone because when one carries such negative states of mind in times of confronting someone, the chaos within can make one confused and reactive.
Without the negative states of the mind, The Self will be able to clearly express themselves to the Others about a situation or a problem that The Self is concerned about. Confronting with a clear mind can help the other person to understand the situation clearer. However, when confronting others with an angry mind, the discussion can take on an aggressive tone.
So what is the best way to confront someone?
To work on one's negative states of the mind!
Often, it can be difficult to be aware of the negativities we have within until we are faced with a situation to bring it out—i.e. when we are confronting someone.
For instance, in confronting someone, the fears of being rejected by others, fears of expressing ourselves honestly, fears of hurting others can surface.
It's good to bring these suffering states of mind out into the light so that one can explore their cause and also the traumatic states of mind that is buried deep inside, waiting to be healed within.
Through the experience of wanting to confront someone, Negative Ideas (The Seed Cause for the Suffering States of the mind) can be discovered.
For instance, one may discover that the desire to confront others comes from the negativity we have towards Other Selves, i.e. the Negative Idea “it is not ok to be lazy” can make us confront others when we feel that they are being lazy.
Issues to do with confrontation can also be driven by a lack of outward or inward trust. I.e. the anger and fears one is experiencing may come from the lack of trust one has with oneself to win the argument, or the lack of trust in others to understand and be compassionate about the situation.
So, to address the issues of confrontation, one needs to learn to focus on transforming the suffering states of mind. Once the fears and anger are released, then confrontation will become as easy as having a conversation with someone about one's day.
Path Of Creator
Confrontation In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey begins by understanding that it is ok to be confrontational as we are the Creator of our life—It is in our free will to choose how to express ourselves.
The journey of Self-Transformation is about uncovering the negativities of the mind when one is in the act of confrontation so that it can be brought out into the light to be studied so that we can understand the cause and transform them.
The cause will always revolve around the lack of Self-Acceptance.
The destination is not about becoming a confrontational person, but rather to reach a state of mind where one is comfortable at expressing oneself honestly for the world to hear, even if that opinion may hurt other people's feelings.
Thus, the journey of Self-Transformation is about becoming a Clear Self, an Honest Self. And naturally, the more one develops Self-Acceptance, the more one will be able to express themselves clearly without negativities and judgement.
Realize, when there are negativities within one's speech, it will be difficult for clear and peaceful communication to take place.
Once the negativities are released, then the choice of whether to confront others will no longer be decided by the negativities or fears within; rather, it will be decided by one's use of wisdom.
As one releases their negativities, what one will also realize is that the mind will naturally move to a state of peace and compassion, and any acts of confrontation would be driven not by the intent to hurt others but rather by the desire to share one's unique perspective.
Realize the difference between controlling others to see one's viewpoint and sharing one's viewpoint for others to learn.
The journey can be accelerated by working on the specific negativities to do with control, anger, and trust.
The more one develops Self-Confidence and support for oneself, the less one will also experience the negative states of the mind to do with confrontation.
One way to accelerate the process of transforming the negativities within is to go towards people who often confront others and learn from them.
Learning from them simply means the learning of Self-Acceptance. Learn to accept these kind of people. Learn also from the way in which they can accept themselves. Learn also how to accept them for who they are when they confront you. Realize the abundance of opportunities to develop Self-Acceptance in life.
Every time you are about to confront someone about doing something wrong, observe within for any negativities or fears that arise. These will give you clues about the work that you will have to do to transform yourself.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Every time you experience wandering thoughts to do with confrontation, learn to pull yourself out of the negative state of mind as quickly as possible and re-focus on the body journey.
Doing this will help you to develop the ability to pull yourself back into the state of Stillness and Observation when you experience confrontational moments in life.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to naturally let go of judgement towards yourself and others in a powerful way to create greater happiness within.