"Confidence is the expression of Self-belief."
Confidence is the expression of Self-Belief.
Confidence can be faked, i.e. one can pretend that they are brave when they are in fact afraid.
Confidence can be real, i.e. there will be some people in life who naturally can support and believe in themselves to succeed even when the odds are stacked against them.
In this article, we will look at how to develop Self-Confidence naturally, which is to address the cause for the lack of it in the first place.
See also, Catalyst - Support, if you wish to explore the subject of confidence through another perspective.
Confidence In Depth
To be truly confident, one has to develop confidence at the state of mind.
To do so will require one to address the cause for the lack of confidence in the first place, which will be caused by beliefs that one has about oneself and the world.
So the question one can ask to begin their journey is:
"What beliefs do I hold that is currently making me feel insecure, weak, worthless, undeserving of love, unlikeable?"
Realize that the more negative beliefs we have about ourselves, the more we will be working against our ability to be confident in life. So it's important to transform the self-belittling beliefs we have into self-empowering ones.
This will require one to develop Self-Knowing—i.e. to become aware of the negative beliefs one carries and this can take time.
Meditation can be an valuable practice that can help one to develop such Self-Awareness.
Some of us may think that we know ourselves pretty well, but it's only when we close our eyes and experience the reactions and thoughts that are happening deep within that we realize—oh dear, I really don't love myself enough!
So, instead of focusing on "appearing" confident on the outside, simply focus on knowing oneself and releasing the negative beliefs. As you begin to transform the mind and learn to see yourself in a more positive light, your actions will naturally reflect the state of self-belief you have within.
This is not to say that faking confidence is a bad thing. In fact, doing so can also help transform the mind because it will challenge the mind to not be so weak.
But again, it's important to do the work of transforming the mind from within because when we place too much emphasis on how to act confidently in life, we can end up spending too much energy overthinking rather than learning to love ourselves for who we are—the journey of Self-Transformation.
Remember, as we develop greater confidence within, the appearance will naturally follow.
So don't worry if you are cannot appear as confident as you wish to be.
Importance Of Addressing Issues With Confidence
Let us look at some reasons for developing self-confidence so that one can be motivated to do the greater work.
When we lack self-confidence, it can greatly create blockages in our ability to express ourselves, to be unique and creative.
Do you often find yourself holding back on expressing your opinions?
Do you fear that people laughing at your ideas?
When we don't believe in ourselves, it can be difficult for one to chase their dreams. As a result, one can lack the motivation to fulfil their deeper purposes in life.
Do you believe that you will succeed or fail?
It is important to address any issues of Self-Confidence if one wishes to live a more fulfilling life.
It's important to also look at the fears that is driving one's lack of Self-Belief. For instance, fears of failing, fears of being wrong, fears of being rejected—basically, fears of being less than perfect.
Through exploring one's fears, one will be able to gain great insights into what needs to be worked on for one to believe in oneself more.
Path Of Creator
Confidence In Relation To The Path Of Creator
How long will it take for one to develop Self-Confidence?
The state of confidence does not come with just a click of a finger, unless you are already confident!
Developing confidence is a life journey, as it is a journey of developing Self-Belief. You can always believe in yourself more than ever before, so there's really no limit to how confident you can be!
One may then ask the question:
"Is there a thing as being excessively over-confident?"
As long one works on one's confidence through transforming the suffering states of mind, the state of the mind will always move towards balance rather than excess. Also, there's really no harm being "over-confident" (if there's such a thing) unless it brings suffering states of the mind.
The journey of Developing Confidence is a journey of developing Self-Belief and transforming the old negative beliefs we have about ourselves. So, taking the journey can only make you happier than before!
Let us look at some ways we can make progress on the journey of transforming our minds.
We can develop confidence every day by learning to face more challenging experiences, facing them with an ever more positive attitude.
Self-Belief is developed every time we "attempt" to support ourselves and "believe" in ourselves when we are faced with an experience that challenges us to not do so.
This is how confidence can be slowly developed through time.
So it is not so much about being "successful" at what we are attempting to do, but rather to have the confidence, the mentality, the Self-Belief that we will "Succeed" even when the thoughts of failing are brewing in the back of our minds.
If one simply dwells in the fears, in the self-doubts, in the negativities, then there will be no change!
So remember, it's the attempt to believe in ourselves rather than the results we create from our attempts that matters. Understanding this can help one to take the bold steps at making these attempts.
When we focus on trying to attain "perfect results" we can fear even taking a step towards what we fear.
So, just try to trust yourself more than the day before!
Now, let us explore some of the beliefs we can carry that can cause the lack of Self-Belief. We will use an example and explore it, which will help you to understand more about the kinds of negative beliefs you can carry within yourself.
At The Idea Level
These are just some examples of the Negative Ideas one can carry.
“It is not ok to be wrong”
“It is not ok to fail”
“It is not ok to be rejected”
“It is not ok to be unique”
Let us look at one of the Negative Ideas to understand it more.
“It is not ok to be arrogant.”
A Negative Idea that can create impediments in one's journey of developing greater Self-Confidence is the belief that being arrogant is bad.
The Self who carries such belief will reject oneself when one's being arrogant and also reject others when they are being arrogant too.
To release, one can develop the realization that everyone has the divine right to be how they wish to be. There is nothing wrong with being arrogant or “appearing arrogant.”
So instead of judging others for being arrogant, or trying various ways to water down oneself so that one doesn't appear arrogant, one can simply try their best to be themselves no matter how one may appear to others and accept others in the same way too.
For one to naturally develop Self-Acceptance, one can surround oneself with arrogant people and learn to accept them for who they are. Great insights can be gained through immersing oneself in what one rejects, provided that one practices meditation because attempting such a feat can bring great chaos to the mind.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
There will always be some sort of fear driving the lack of Self-Confidence.
Every time you experience the inability to be confident, you can ask the following questions to discover these fears.
“What are my fears behind this experience?”
The practice of meditation will help one greatly to calm the reactive mind so that one can penetrate into one's experience to discover their fears.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Use the practice of meditation to develop confidence.
In the practice of meditation when you encounter moments of self-doubt, for instance, when you feel that you cannot meditate any longer; when you cannot stand the pain; when you cannot stand the chaos, use these moments as opportunities to develop Self-Belief by simply observing the experience as is with a Still Mind.
Learn to accept all your experiences in the meditation rather than ignoring, diminishing, or exaggerating them.
Know and Transform The Self!
There are many free courses that you can try on the Courses page for you to develop greater self-confidence. To feel appreciated will always begin with learning how to accept yourself for who you are.
For example, the Self Blessings Meditation will guide you to learn how to develop Self-Acceptance by practising a 5 minute Self-Acceptance technique every night.