"There will always be someone there to support you. You."
Support is about developing Self-Confidence, Self-Belief.
In life, it's important to learn how to support yourself. Because there will be moments in life when others won't give you the support you need, especially if you are the kind of person that thinks and do things quite differently from everyone else.
So learning to support oneself is about learning to be independent. It can be about learning how to stand up for yourself when someone tries to put you down, learning to believe in yourself when others don't, learning to trust in yourself that you can overcome all the problems in life.
When we lack Self-Support, we can begin to rely on others. When this happens, the suffering states of mind can be experienced when we do not receive the support we desire.
This article will explore the causes for the lack of Self-Support and the ways to develop it so that one can experience greater happiness.
Support In Depth
The true test of whether we are supporting ourselves enough can be measured by observing the way we often react to situations that require Self-Support.
We can encounter these kinds of situations every day.
For instance, situations where we have to disagree with someone else's opinion, situations when we have to speak in front of public, when we are faced with a challenging problem in life, when we need to stand up for ourselves, when we have to make important decisions, and so forth.
To see how well we are supporting ourselves, we can look at how much negative reactions we are experiencing at that moment rather than how confident we appear on the outside.
If there are any negative reactions, for instance, negativities, fears, anger, impatience, and so forth, it means that we are still not supporting ourselves enough. Because when you can really support yourself, you will be able to see that everything will be fine in the fullness of time, and if they are not, you will be able to withstand and overcome all problems yourself.
Importance Of Addressing Issues Of Lacking Self-Support
Let us look at how lacking Self-Support can impact one's experience of happiness.
When one has a lack of support for oneself, one will lack the convictions in one’s beliefs. When one cannot believe in oneself fully, one can end up giving up on their ideas halfway. For instance, giving up on their dreams, their projects, and sometimes, not even starting them at all.
One can also develop a habit of always agreeing with other people's opinions even though one may not agree with them.
Do you find yourself often agreeing with other people whilst your mind is disagreeing with them?
The effect of a lack of support for oneself can also create blockages to Self-Knowing. Because when one cares too much about how other people thinks of them, it can lead one to "act" in a more likable manner rather than simply being who they are. When we live acting like a lovable character all the time, it can interfere with the journey of Self-Knowing.
Do you often find yourself holding yourself back in fear of offending someone?
When one has a lack of support for oneself, one can subconsciously fill this lack by seeking support from others. This can drive one towards a need for approval from others, which can lead to suffering experiences when one cannot receive the support one desires.
Metaphysically, the energy concerned with support has strong ties to the spine and the muscles of the back.
Any issues to do with support can manifest themselves as different forms of back problems as a way of the body to communicate with The Self that one needs to learn to stand up for themselves.
Path Of Creator
The journey begins with understanding the importance of supporting oneself. For instance, realizing from experience how the lack of Self-Support can negatively affect one's happiness in life.
The journey will take one to realize that a lack of Self-Support is the same thing as a lack of Self-Love.
The destination is towards Two-Way Acceptance: To accept oneself and others for who they are.
Self-Support can be developed by learning to support others as much as we support ourselves and to support ourselves as we support others.
This can prove to be utmost challenging, and especially confusing when we are in an argument with the Other Self. In such situations, it can be difficult to balance Self-Support in both directions. But to resolve the confusion, just realize that the work on Self-Support is in the intention rather than what you do on the outside. As long as you try to hold the intention to accept rather than reject yourself and others, you will make progress.
Realize that developing Self-Support is not so much about learning to achieve a particular outcome in life but rather to learn to love ourselves no matter what challenges we face and what outcomes result. When we are too fixated on achieving particular outcomes, we can end up on a journey fighting for short-term wins rather than long-term happiness.
Thus, the destination is not learning to always win arguments or overpower others. But rather, to be happy with oneself even if one ends up on the losing side.
Although in saying this, the journey of developing Self-Support can be greatly accelerated if one knows how to use life experiences as catalysts. For instance, one can learn to be confrontational with others to bring out the deeper negativities, fears, self-doubt into the light, which can greatly help one to see clearer the aspects of The Self that needs to be worked on.
At The Idea Level
The Seed Cause to all forms of all Suffering States of the Mind will always come back to Negative Ideas.
So, let us explore the relationship between Negative Ideas and the suffering state behind the lack of Self-Support.
The theme of the Negativev Ideas related to the lack of self-support will often revolve around Ideas about—
“How I should be in order to please others.”
“How I should be so that I would not be rejected.”
And so forth.
The more one can discover their Negative Ideas the easier it will be for one to accelerate their journey.
The journey thus will be a journey of Self-Knowing.
The destination is to towards the state of unconditional love towards oneself even in moments of failure.
Realize that one can receive no greater support than to support oneself.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
When you find yourself in situations where you think people would blame you for doing something wrong, try to turn that belief around by believing in yourself instead, trusting yourself that you are doing the right thing.
This will help you to balance your Self-Doubting mind.
With time, you will realize that the more you do this, the more the Mind will transform. You will find that the Mind, instead of finding reasons to justify your fears, will begin to find reasons to support your Self-Support.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
You can develop Self-Support in the Creator's Meditation in many ways.
For instance, when you find yourself doubting if you are meditating correctly, that is an opportunity to trust yourself.
For instance, when you encounter wandering thoughts that make you self-doubt, i.e. a thought about how your colleagues would think of your new haircut at work, believe that everything will be ok instead.
This is how you can transform a Self-Judging Mind to a Self-Supporting Mind through the practice of meditation.
Know and Transform The Self!
There are many free courses that you can try on the Courses page for you to develop greater self-confidence. To feel supported will always begin with learning how to support yourself.
For example, the Self Blessings Meditation will guide you to learn how to develop Self-Acceptance by practising a 5 minute Self-Acceptance technique every night.