"When no one is there to give you a hand, only you can pick yourself up"
Support is about supporting yourself to achieve your goals and standing behind your beliefs when challenged.
There are some of us who cannot support ourselves and as a result end up in relying on support from others. This article will explore the causes for the lack of Self-Support and the ways to develop it.
Support In Depth
The true test of whether we have support of ourselves can be measured from quality of the “Reactions” we experience when we are in a situation where we have to support ourselves. This can be situations where we have to disagree with someone else's opinion, this can be a situation where we have to express an Idea, this can be moments when we are faced with a challenging situation, this can be moments when we have to make a challenging decision and so forth.
It does not matter how confident we can make ourselves appear on the outside, for the amount of self-support we have for ourselves can only be measured inside. As long as we experience negative reactions / fears within, it is a sign that there is still room for us to support ourselves even more.
Importance Of Addressing Issues Of Support
It is important to address the issues of a lack of support to oneself.
When one has a lack of support for oneself one will lack the convictions in one’s beliefs and as a result one will often complete things half-way or not even start it at all.
One can also develop a habit of always agreeing with others or always submitting to other people’s ideas even when may not completely agree with them.
Do you find yourself often agreeing with the other person when you don't even share the same beliefs?
The effect of a lack of support for oneself can also create an impediment to one's path to self-knowing. Because when one cares excessively about how other people may perceive them, it can lead one to become an actor rather than being and expressing who they really are. As a result, one can go through life learning how to “act” rather than to “be.”
Do you often find yourself holding yourself back in fear of offending someone?
When one has a lack of support for oneself, one can end up compensating this by continuously seeking support from other people. In this situation, when one's opinion is not approved by others, one can experience anger and the need to blame others for the lack of support rather than to realize that one is simply lacking support for oneself.
Physically the energy concerned with support has strong metaphysical ties with the spine and the muscles of the back. Any issues to do with support can manifest itself as different forms of back problems as a way of the body to communicate with The Self that something needs to be addressed at a deeper level.
Path Of Creator
Support In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey begins with understanding about the importance of supporting oneself.
This usually involves realizing from experience the amount of Suffering one can experience from the lack of support for oneself. For pains and unhappiness will always be experienced when we do not Love The Self enough.
The journey is in developing the Knowing of the Cause of the imbalance of a lack of love within and addressing this imbalance.
The destination is towards Two-Way Acceptance. To accept oneself and everyone for who they are.
The building of support can start with us supporting others as much as we support ourselves, and to support ourselves as we support others. This can prove to be utmost challenging when we are in doubt of ourselves or others. But clarity comes when one understands that the support is not so much about having faith in a particular result but rather it is more about developing a positive state of mind, the state of unconditional acceptance / love no matter what kind of situation may arise.
Thus the destination is not about becoming supportive of oneself through always winning an argument, but rather to reach a state of acceptance and support for oneself and others at the reaction level. And to develop Self-Acceptance even if one fails to win an argument, or underperforms - and this will happen often when one begins on their journey of developing Self-Support.
The Seed Cause to all forms of Sufferings will always come back to Negative Ideas. Theme behind the Negative Ideas relating to the lack of self-support will often revolve around Ideas about “How I should be in order to please others.”“How I should be so I would not be rejected.” And so forth.
The journey if about becoming aware of the Negative Beliefs we have within and to transform them with Self-Acceptance. The journey is also about balancing the direction of Love so that instead of sending love excessively outwards all the time, one learns to balance that love by directing it inwards as well.
The destination is to reach towards the state of unconditional love towards oneself even in moments of failure. For there is no greater support than the state of being able to love oneself unconditionally in moments of failure and in moments when no one else will support oneself.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
When you find yourself in situations where you think people would blame you for something that you've done, doing, about to do, try to find ways to believe what you are doing is “right” and think of reasons to support yourself. The task is not in doing something “right” or “wrong” but simply to find ways to support yourself rather than always trying to dwell in thoughts that can stir up self-doubt even more.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
When you meditate and feel like you cannot meditate for the length that you have given yourself for, simply try to find way to support yourself at an mental level i.e. creating the “belief” that you can make it through.
Know and Transform The Self!
There are many free courses that you can try on the Courses page for you to develop greater self-confidence. To feel supported will always begin with learning how to support yourself.
For example, the Self Blessings Meditation will guide you to learn how to develop Self-Acceptance by practising a 5 minute Self-Acceptance technique every night.