Pain Of Rejection
"When we feel rejected, we are really just rejecting ourselves"
Defining Pain Of Rejection
The pain of rejection is a suffering state of mind experienced when we feel that someone has rejected us. For instance, this state of mind can be experienced when someone disagrees with our ideas, or when someone doesn't like or love us, or when someone does not return the love in the same way that we love them.
This article will look at the cause of the Pain of Rejection and the ways to transform it to create greater happiness in life.
Pain Of Rejection In Depth
The cause of the pain of rejection will always come back to the beliefs we have become attached to within about ourselves and the world. So the key to transforming the mind is to become aware of the beliefs we hold that is currently promoting such a painful reality.
So it's not so much the act of being rejected by others that is causing the pain within, but rather it is caused by our perception of the experience. And our perception of the experience will always come back to the beliefs we hold within which will determine how we react to outer experiences.
For example, some people are fine with having arguments with their friends. However, there will be those who will perceive the experience as an unloving one when their friends don't support their ideas.
For example, some guys will be fine with asking girls out on the street whilst some guys just can't do it because they fear experiencing the pain of being rejected by others.
For example, some people may take a rude joke light-heartedly whilst some people can take a joke seriously as if they were being personally attacked.
So in the end, to transform the mind is not so much about transforming the world outside, but rather to look within to look at what is causing this suffering state of the mind. And every one of us will have deeply rooted beliefs and traumas that are waiting to be transformed and healed.
So one can ask oneself
"What beliefs do I hold that is making me experience such pain?"
It will be difficult to get any clear answers to this question without the practice of meditation because it is only when the mind is still that one can become self-aware of the deeper thoughts and beliefs that is within. There are free meditation courses on this website such as the Meditation for Self-Knowing that can help you started.
Importance Of Addressing Pain Of Rejection
To address the pain of rejection we need to first have the desire to address it. So here we will look at the ways to naturally develop the desire to by understanding how the suffering states of the mind can impact our lives. Here we will also clear some blockages and confusions that may arise on the journey of Self-Transformation
Being rejected by others is certainly a painful and suffering experience. It can make one feel vulnerable, weak and unloved. When we fall into this state of mind we can fall into the illusion that this is the reality, that we are worthless and that no one likes us even though it's just a temporary illusion set up by our beliefs. In extreme cases, depressions and a lack of motivation to enjoy and live life to the fullest can result. So it's important to transform this state of mind if one wishes to live their lives fully.
It can be difficult to live life to the fullest when one can experience the pain of rejection. This is because in experiencing that pain, one can start fearing the experience of that pain. As a result, one can begin to avoid life experiences that may bring out such pains. Thus life experiences become limited to what is considered safe and comfortable. There is nothing wrong with this choice, but in making these choices the deeper desires will be buried deeper into the mind and away from view by the fears of being hurt if one pursues them. Thus it's only when the fears are released that one can then one see their deeper desires clearly and live a fulfilled life.
Being rejected by others can also bring out issues of anger within especially if one has the tendency to control outcomes. And often The Self with such tendencies will try to control the outcome so that the pain can be avoided. Thus the more the pain of rejection is experienced, the more anger will result from one seeing that it is the others to blame for the cause of the pain.
So in this sense, the Pain of Rejection can be seen as caused by one having an expectation for oneself or others. The more one is attached to a particular outcome to manifest the more pain one will experience when that outcome is not fulfilled. Thus if there's no desire for a particular outcome to manifest then the pain will not be experienced. And why the expectations are there will always come back to one's belief about what love should be.
Path Of Creator
Pain Of Rejection In Relation To The Path Of Creator
To create greater Happiness in life we have to transform and release our Suffering states of mind.
The journey will always begin and progress with Self-Knowing - to become aware that the cause of the pain of rejection comes from within rather than outside. It is only when one can focus their attention to the greater work which is waiting to be done inside that one can progress on transforming the suffering state of mind.
The journey will take one closer to understand the origins of this pain. If one looks even closer to observe the nature of this pain, one will realize that the pain of being rejected by others is similar to the pain felt when one rejects others. This is because to the deeper mind there is really just One Self.
Ultimately one will begin to realize that the pain of being rejected by others is there because we are in fact simply rejecting ourselves. From a higher perspective, the pain of being rejected by others is there because we do not love ourselves enough. Because if we did, then it does not matter if others don't. So the pain of being rejected by others is simply the pain of us rejecting ourselves. Thus Self-Love , Self-Support, Self-Forgiveness / Compassion / Acceptance is the key to transforming this state of mind.
Thus to make progress on the journey of transforming the beliefs, one can simply work on developing greater Self-Acceptance. This can be done in many ways. For instance, to accept oneself and to accept others when one is rejected by others. Or to accept oneself and others when one is rejecting other selves. The more one develops love for themselves, to allow themselves to manifest their own desires, to allow themselves to be honest with who they really are, naturally one will develop love towards others in the same way and in this way the pain of rejection will then transform into the acceptance of rejection by gaining the wisdom that everyone has the free will to make choices including ourselves.
So on the journey of Self-Transformation, realize that every moment is an opportunity to enjoy and be happy. Every moment is also an opportunity to love ourselves and each other more. Instead of fearing the moments of rejection, move towards it by seeing it as an opportunity to love The Self even more.
To learn how to love The Self, you can try the Self-Blessings Meditation on the website as well.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
In life, you will always be presented two choices in every moment.
To accept, or to reject.
Will you accept the self. Or will you reject The self. Become aware of these choices when they are presented to you in life. Use all moments in life as opportunities to love yourself even more and others too. This will make you become aware of the moments when you cannot, and through experiencing that darkness you will gain greater wisdom and discover what is holding you back from developing even more greater Self-Acceptance. This is the cycle of Self-Acceptance and Self-Knowing.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Use the Creator's Meditation to develop honesty. Honesty will help you to love yourself for who you really are. So as you become aware of the different sensations experienced throughout the meditation, use it as an opportunity to be honest with yourself. Instead of trying to wander off in the mind, simply accept reality as it is. Doing so, you are simply learning how to love and accept The Self as is.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to naturally let go of judgement towards yourself and others in a powerful way to create greater happiness within.