Love - Direction
"You can only give as much love as you have for yourself"
Defining The Direction Of Love
Love can be directed in two ways: outwards and inwards.
To not direct love in any way is a state of stagnation.
In this article, we will look at the ways to direct love to develop greater happiness in life.
Direction Of Love In Depth
The ideas we have about how to be a loving person, a loving employee, a loving wife, a loving employee, a virtuous and moralistic person are all ideas that can influence one to direct love in certain directions.
As the ideas about love will no doubt be different in differing countries, societies, cultures, families, religions and schools of thought, naturally, we will all carry different ideas about what love is.
And the roles we play in life can make us see love in a biased way.
For instance, a businessman may see the love as the gain of profit for oneself whilst a humanitarian may see love in the form of loving others more than oneself.
When one has become attached to their ideas about love, one can forget that these ideas about love are simply ideas that can change with place, experience, and time.
To create attachments to one's ideas of what love is can create unnecessary suffering for oneself, as misery can often be experienced when one's own expectations of love are not met.
Path Of Creator
Direction Of Love In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The greater goal in life is to create Greater Happiness Within.
The more you can love the world and yourself, the more you will experience greater happiness.
That is the relationship between love and happiness— they are really one of the same things.
Now, let us look at how we can create greater happiness / love within.
The Imbalance Of Love Creates Suffering
Directing love in an imbalanced way will only create greater misery.
Imbalance means an excess or a lack of. So, when we direct Love excessively in either direction, an imbalance will arise.
How to reach a balance?
Naturally, the experiences we go through in life will always work in mysterious ways to nudge us to shift our ideas back and forth so that we can eventually reach a perfect balance within.
For example, a person who is always directing their love excessively outwards, i.e. what one might call a selfless person, will often face countless experiences guiding them to question the way in which they are directing their love.
These experiences often involve learning how to say no to others, how to express one's true desires rather than to accommodate others, learning about one’s entitlement and rights, learning how not to get taken advantage of, and so forth.
The wisdom that such Self accumulates through such a journey will often be the realization that one can only give as much as one has, as when one gives too much one can experience suffering and exhaustion.
Eventually, through these experiences, the Knowing and Balance of Love will be refined.
And likewise, a person who often directs their love excessively inwards, i.e. what one might call a selfish person, will often face experiences where they are offered the opportunity to help others at one's own disadvantage, to let go of the fears of making a loss, of learning how to enjoy sharing one's profits with others.
The wisdom that such Self accumulates through such a journey will often be the knowing that greater happiness can be experienced when one balances their selfish side with selflessness.
The more the direction of Love becomes balanced, the greater the happiness one will experience.
In a balanced state of mind, one will no longer do things out of “Selflessness/Sacrifice” or out of “Selfishness/Profit.” One will simply be themselves, i.e. without expectations to give or receive. From such a state of mind, all the love is given unconditionally.
So life experiences can greatly help one to reach an inner balance because within every moment is a lesson to be learnt about love.
But without stillness, it can be difficult to receive such learning from our life experiences because one will simply React to life experiences rather than learn from them.
Most of the time, the only types of experiences that people learn from are the more shocking ones, like getting cancer or losing all their fortune, which can often shake one's beliefs down for new ones to grow.
The journey of balancing the direction of love will be difficult.
How hard it is to challenge one's core beliefs of what love is? How to forgive someone when you truly believe they are not worthy of love? How to love oneself when one is in the belief that one has done something wrong?
Thus the journey towards inner balance will often take one to understand that there is nothing wrong with being selfish and there is nothing wrong about being selfless—that there really is no right and wrong, that there the only paths we are paving is towards Joy or Suffering.
But with each life experience, one will gain their own wisdom and reach their own realization about what love is. Thus love is a process of ever refinement through wisdom.
How to accelerate the Journey to reach a balance of Love?
The fastest way to address the imbalance of Love within is simply by working on our Sufferings / Negativities.
What we will discover is that the cause of the imbalances within will always be caused by the Negative States of the Mind, i.e. our negative reactions, our negative beliefs.
I.e. when we have a fear of being judged for not giving enough, then we can end up giving excessively. I.e. when we fear too much about other people’s wellbeing, then we can be compelled subconsciously to give excessively.
And likewise, when we fear too much about not having enough, then we can end up reaching for things excessively.
These are just some examples.
As we simply focus on working on our Suffering States of the mind, the balance of the Direction of Love will eventually be reached.
Without fears, without anger, without expectations, without jealousy—A mind that is without a trace of Negativities— that is the Purest State of Unconditional Love.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
If you are aware that you are always giving Love outwards excessively, then learn to give less and ask for more.
Similarly, if you are aware that you are giving Love inwards excessively, then learn to share that Love outwards.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
To balance the Direction Of Love, you can devote a few minutes at the end of your meditation session to direct Love inwards and outwards. You can use the following statements.
“I share my Love and Wisdom, Peace and Harmony with the rest of the World”
“I deserve happiness.”
“Everyone deserves happiness.”
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to learn how to properly balance the direction of love through learning how to develop Self-Acceptance both ways at the deeper level of the mind..