"There is no Shame in Accepting ourselves for who we are"
Shame here is defined as the negative state of mind when one feels "wrong" about having certain emotions, thoughts, or actions.
So basically this is no different than judging oneself negatively when viewing oneself through a mirror.
Shame In Depth
The state of shame is similar to the state of regret, guilt, embarrassment.
Whilst guilt is the self-criticism to do with having done something wrong to others, shame is more about feeling that something is wrong with oneself for having certain thoughts, emotions, actions. Perhaps it could be that one is in shame of always being angry, or feeling the state of shame in being a smoking addict, or sin lusting for sux, or in desiring for money etc.
So the state of shame is there because one believes that there is something "wrong" with oneself. Without this negative belief one will actually not experience the state of shame. For instance someone may have a passion for sex or drugs and not feel any shame about having such hobbies.
So to transform the state of shame is about transforming one's negative beliefs about oneself.
Importance Of Addressing Shame
It is important to address any issues to do with the state of shame. Because the definition of what is wrong and what is right will always be subjective.
In believing that something is wrong, The Self may begin to suppress their desires or passion instead of letting it surface so that one can examine what it really is. Suppression can be dangerous because anything which is suppressed can gradually build up and ultimately be blown out of proportions.
Also, in not fulfilling one’s desires one can experience unhappiness and unfulfilment. It is by accepting one’s wrong thoughts, emotions, actions that one can examine whether or not there is a “problem” that needs to be addressed. And if it is indeed a “problem” i.e. addiction to unhealthy drugs, it is then one can start examining why the addiction is actually there and start to properly address it at the deeper level of the mind.
Path Of Creator
Shame In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey of Self-Transformation is about creating greater happiness in our life.
The journey begins with understanding what the state of shame is – it is simply the negative state experienced when one believes that something is wrong with oneself.
The journey is about moving away from this negative state of mind through developing Unconditional Self-Acceptance.
The journey is about realizing from internal experience that there is no need to be unhappy, to criticize and judge oneself. Everyone is different, and through our life we will all become attached to certain passions, certain hobbies, certain ways of thinking. If it is there, it is there.
Thus the destination is to move away from self-judgement, self-criticism, and simply being ok with who we really are.
Of course the journey will be a challenging one because when The Self experiences the feeling of shame, it means that The Self has already become deeply attached to the belief that whatever it is doing is “wrong” no matter how one thinks about it.
Here one can release oneself from the confusion by simply realizing that the focus of the work is about transforming the state of mind rather than at the level of the action. Because the focus of the life journey is about developing happiness at the level of the mind.
So it is not so much about “becoming” what you are ashamed of, i.e. if you are ashamed about your addiction to drugs for example, the focus is not about becoming or maintaining your drug addiction, that is your own choice. The focus is to address the negativities one has towards oneself for being that way. Besides, if one wishes to quit their addiction, it is much faster to do it out of love rather than self-judgement. Because if done through self-criticism, one will not have understand fully why one has to quit taking drugs.
Addressing the state of self-criticism can thus help one to see clearer about the situation at hand. Because often The Self who is highly self-critical can suppress a lot of their desires, dreams, passions just because they think it’s wrong because they may think that they do not deserve happiness and love. So it is important to transform Self-Criticism into Self-Acceptance to develop greater happiness in life.
Self Acceptance can be developed at an accelerated pace if one can learn to accept others for being wrong. Because in rejecting Other Selves for being wrong, it is actually is no different than learning to unconditionally love oneself for being wrong.
Now if one wishes to address the activities in which they are ashamed of, such as the addiction to drugs, then how the journey is made is through developing Self-Knowing - to know why the addiction is there. And through the process one may see the deeper cause, for instance to see that the cause for one's addiction to drugs is due to the fear of lonliness, or lack of purpose in life etc. It is then one can transform the mind at the root level through working on these issues of the mind. Once the deeper issues of the mind are addressed then the addictions will disappear. So that is why it's so important to practice meditation on the journey of Self-Transformation, because meditation will always help one greatly to develop the awareness needed to penetrate into the mind so that one can discover the seed cause for their unhappiness, cravings, fears and so forth.
The destination is towards unconditionally accepting all possibilities of The Self.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Whenever you experience the state of shame in life, simply try to Accept yourself by coming out of the negativity quicker and quicker. Try to love yourself for who you are, and then as you do this of course you will encounter inner resistance. Observe and let go of this inner resistance and question why it is there.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
When you encounter negative thoughts of self-criticism in your meditation, simply come back to the body journey. And then you may get pulled back into the negative wandering thoughts again. When this happens pull yourself back out of it again. This is how you develop Self-Acceptance, to not dwell in self-criticism but rather in Self-Acceptance. So do it quicker and quicker each time in your practice to develop the Self-Acceptance.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to accept and love yourself unconditionally.