"It is through honesty that we can find ourselves"
To be honest is to not lie.
Thus, it's about learning to communicate our thoughts and emotions truthfully to those around us. And also, learning to accept ourselves for who we are.
Honesty can be difficult to practice in life, especially when the world can expect and pressure us to act and behave in certain ways when it is constantly surrounding us with ideas of what a perfect guy, girl, friend, partner, employee, should be.
So, life can sometimes feel like a stage loaded with an audience ready to judge us. That's why it can feel more comforting to play things safe by simply following the social scripts of the world rather than trying to be honest selves.
However, through acting untruthfully, one can lose oneself, and with it, one's happiness.
In this article, we will explore honesty as a catalyst to help one reconnect with themselves so that one can live a fulfilling life and honestly be happy.
Honesty In Depth
When we live fearing others judging us, we can end up acting in ways to please everyone and hide the parts of ourselves that may be unwanted on the stage. The more we do this, the more masks we will wear: masks for different roles, i.e. for the workplace, for the friends, for the family, for the stranger, and so forth.
That is why honesty can be used as a catalyst to help one reconnect back with their true emotions and thoughts. By learning to express oneself honestly, one is learning to turn towards who they are rather than away from it, helping one to rediscover themselves.
However, realize that there's really nothing wrong with acting or lying as life is a stage where people can exercise their free-will as to how to live and behave. So, this article is not written to admonish those who live dishonestly. Rather, the point is to make one aware that if one wishes for greater happiness, one can use honesty as a catalyst to achieve that because there is no greater happiness than being able to be yourself without the fears of being judged.
Thus in your life, whether or not you choose to express your true opinions about things will always be your choice. But through the catalyst of honesty, of expressing your true thoughts and emotions, it will take you on a deeper journey in life. On this journey, you will learn why you have been stopping yourself from simply being who you are, you will discover your fears, your negative beliefs, your self-limiting habit patterns, and so forth.
Thus, the Catalyst of Honesty will take you on an enlightening journey of Self-Knowing and Self-Transformation.
Importance Of Addressing Dishonesty
To use honesty as a catalyst, one has to first develop the intention to use it.
So let us look at some of the reasons for moving away from dishonesty.
When we are constantly dishonest with ourselves, we can lose connection with ourselves, with our deeper thoughts and feelings. For instance, the more we lie to ourselves that we are not angry when we are, the more we can end up believing that lie. Thus constant Self-Deceit can make one less aware of how one is truly feeling; it can also make one have delayed reactions to experiences, i.e. one only realizing their true feelings after some time has passed after the experience.
So, dishonesty can lead one on a journey of losing oneself.
Do you often hold back when you feel like expressing yourself honestly?
The more one engages in dishonesty, the less they will be able to become aware of their deeper desires within, which will be buried under the thoughts of a fearful mind. This can drive one to live an unhappy and unfulfilled life.
Engaging in dishonesty can also make one an unclear Self for others to see. When one is an Unclear Self, miscommunication will happen. Being an unclear Self will make it difficult for people to know who you really are and mistaken you for someone that you are not, making one feel alone, as if the world doesn't understand them for who they are.
Path Of Creator
Honesty In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey of Self-Transformation is about developing the Knowing Of The Self and liberating oneself from their Sufferings.
Honesty can be used as a catalyst/gateway to realize one's Deeper Self.
Such a journey begins with understanding what honesty is about and trying one's best to practice it in life.
When one is practising honesty, one will no doubt encounter confusions of the mind, for instance, questions about whether one is doing the right thing or not, whether one is hurting others or not. Thus on the journey, the mind, with its old habit patterns, will do it's best to step in and try to interefere with one's journey. The more the thinking mind is activated, the more it will come up with reasons to not be honest.
That is why the practice of meditation will be greatly beneficial. Through the practice, one will be able to put the thinking mind aside so that one can simply focus on applying the catalyst of honesty in their lives.
And it doesn't matter if one fails to speak the truth. It's the "honest attempt" that matters. Because through the attempt of expressing oneself honestly, the dark states of the mind will be revealed: the fears, the self-judgement, the inner traumas, and so forth. To reveal the suffering states of the mind is one of the primary goals of the catalyst. Because in discovering them, one can then explore and understand them, which will help them to address it at the seed level of the mind.
Thus, there's no need to reproach oneself if one ends up retreating in cowardice, failing to express themselves honestly in their life experiences. The attempt is enough to develop Self-Knowing.
However, when one is successful in expressing themselves honestly, it can be a truly transformativ experience. So it's important to keep on attempting the catalyst until one finally can express themselves honestly. It will only get easier with each failure!
Thus, the deeper journey is in discovering why one cannot be honest and addressing the cause at its roots. Again, the practice of meditation will be extremely helpful, helping one to develop the stillness and courage to use this highly challenging catalyst.
At The Idea Level
As all forms of Sufferings are caused by Negative Ideas, the theme of the Negative Ideas surrounding one's inability to express themselves honestly can be transcribed as—
“It is not ok to be rejected”
See Catalyst - Pain Of Rejection for more details.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Pick a day in a week where you will attempt the catalyst of Honesty! On that day, simply try to express yourself as honest as you can. To go deeper into the catalyst, you can try to act as honestly as you can as well.
If it's too difficult to be honest at the action level, just try your best to "not lie."
This is how you can uncover the suffering states of the mind within!
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
When we suppress/repress our reactions whenever we feel pain and suffering, we are being dishonest about how we are truly feeling.
To be honest with our reactions, we can use the practice of meditation to simply observe them as is: without adding or subtracting the experience, simply the reactions come and go, accepting them for what they are
This will help you to see yourself in the same way!
Know and Transform The Self!
Honesty is about accepting who you really are even if others may reject you for who you are.
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to naturally let go of judgement towards yourself and learn how to accept yourself for who you are.