"Self-Denial is the same as Self-Rejection"
Self-Denial is defined here as the refusal to see the Truth.
For instance we can be in a denial towards the parts of ourselves which we refuse to see or accept. These are usually are the parts of ourselves which we see as flaws or even if we are self-critical, we can refuse to see the parts of ourselves which are perfect.
We can do this at the conscious level or at the subconcious level. This article will look to the cause of self-denial and how to address it.
Denial In Depth
The reasons for one to deny parts of oneself are plenty but let us look at the two primary reasons as to why people would deny parts of themselves.
When we look at ourselves in the mirror we can always find parts of ourselves which we cannot Accept. We often address this at the physical level in various ways i.e. if we find ourselves fat we can buy a shirt which will make us look skinny, or if we find imperfection on our face, we can buy makeup to hide the flaws.
So when we try to cover our "flaws" we are actually rejecting the part of ourselves that we cannot accept. This is not to say such acts are right or wrong, but rather to point out that through such acts a habit pattern of self-denial can be developed overtime.
And this can happen at the internal level as well. For instance, when we find things about the Mental or Emotional Self that we don't like i.e. our negativities i.e. our anger and impatience. When we constantly reject parts of ourselves, we can develop a habit of convincing ourselves that these thoughts and emotions are not even there.
Lack of Self-Awareness.
Self-Denial can also result from the lack of awareness we have of who we really are. A lot of us do not spend enough time observing and trying to understand our minds thus the lack of self-awareness.
It can also be hard for ourselves to see the negativities and imbalances within when we have lived with them for a long time. I.e. the state of Anger would seem to be a normal state for a person who has lived with it for most of his life so as a result that person may not see it as an issue that needs to be addressed – perhaps because he/she has come to the belief that it is natural to have anger.
Conversely, for those who have a habit of always criticizing themselves all the time will can also fail to see their strengths.
Importance Of Addressing Self-Denial
It is important to address any issues to do with Self-Denial because it is by Accepting all of ourselves – even parts in which we cannot Accept – that we can expand our happiness
We can never improve, refine, address any parts of ourselves which we refuse to see and accept. Thus the anger will stay there for as long as we deny it is there. The impatience will be with us for as long as we deny its existence. The Sufferings will continue for as long as we do not Accept that it is there.
Path Of Creator
Denial In Relation To The Path Of Creator
When we are in Self-Denial we will never be able to go forward in Transforming and Releasing our Sufferings because we can never address anything that we can't see or are not aware of.
Thus the journey will begin first with developing The Knowing of The Self – in particular Self-Awareness.
We can start by developing our sensitivities to the world within, to our emotions and thoughts in every moment so we can be clearly aware when the negativities surface within.
The more we become sensitive to them, the more Negativities we will be able to pick up and address. Without a high sensitivity towards our Inner Worlds we can easily oversee the subtle negativities that may arise throughout the day.
Without developing higher sensitivities we can come to the belief that only “Big” Sufferings need to be addressed rather than the “Small/Subtle Ones” Realize that both are equally important. A small experience of Anger or a big experience of Anger - both are equally important to be addressed.
The Catalyst-Honesty can also help one greatly on this journey of re-discovery. This is because in fear of what other people think of us we can suppress, deny how we really feel and think day by day until our True Selves are buried deep beneath the masks we have built for ourselves. By the attempt of trying to be honest all the time it will help us to reconnect ourselves with our true emotions, thoughts, desires.
The Destination is towards the Acceptance of The Self – even all parts of The Self that we cannot Accept. From a higher perspective, this is about realizing that we are all in fact already perfect and from this perspective, Self-Transformation is about releasing the blockages and Negative Ideas we have become attached to that is preventing us from seeing it. The reason why the Suffering States of Mind are there is because we cannot see this Truth. So the journey towards such destination will require one to develop Unconditional Love and Acceptance towards Oneself.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Simply try to be Self-Aware in all moments and observe the Mind and Physical Body for any Negativities/Negative Physical Sensations that may surface throughout the day.
One way to tell whether or not you are in Self-Denial is by seeing how much you can stay with the Negativities as they surface i.e. How much are you Negatively Reacting to it? How much are you holding yourself back from experiencing the Negative Physical Sensations in its full extent and so forth.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
The Creator’s Meditation will help The Self to address any issues to do with Self-Denial because the Practice will allow one to practice the simple observation of reality without distortions. Thus as one meditates one will learn to simply experience the full intensity of one's suffering states whenever it comes and goes.
Realize that we are not in Self-Denial when we try to be Still every time we experience the Negative Sensations surfacing on our body. Because it is by observing these Negative Sensations without Reacting / Distorting them with a Still Mind that we can experience the raw / undistorted physical sensations as they are - i.e. not trying to exaggerate or diminish or become attached to them.
If one does not Accept The Sufferings as they come up and continue to Negatively React to it by Rejecting to the experience, i.e. by declaring in the mind “This is not a good feeling! This is not me! I don’t want this!” then one will not be able to transform the negativities of the mind. It is by observing everything as is, that one can let the negativities come, and then let it go.
Know and Transform The Self!
There is never the need to reject yourself. Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection so that you can know who you really are - this will help you to develop the natural desire to let go of the subconscious judgement you have towards yourself.