"Regret cannot change anything, but living in the Present will."
Regret is a suffering state of mind and we can experience it when we have done something that we wish we didn't have.
For instance, we can be in the state of regret when we give an advice to someone which ends up being a bad one. We can be in a state of regret after we have bursted out at someone in anger. We can be in a state of regret after making a joke that no one laughed at.
Regret is much like Guilt, except that regret is more of a criticism and reflection on one's own actions for having done something that we did not know at the time was "wrong" and Guilt is more of a criticism on ourself on doing something that we already know is "wrong."
This article is to address the suffering state associated with Regret.
Regret In Depth
As we look into the deeper mind what we will discover is that The state of regret is experienced when we feel that we have underperformed in something that we had done – i.e. when we perceive ourselves of not having done well enough, not doing the right thing.
Thus the deeper causes of Regret is Self Judgement. When we are in regret, we are actually subconsciously blaming ourselves. In the state of regret, it can be easy for our thoughts/imagination to take over to show us scenarios of how we could have done better.
Why do we always judge The Self that was in the past will be the question one will have to seek answers to in order to transform the suffering states of mind relating to regret.
And often this will always take us to our attachment to the ideas of Right and Wrong because when we become attached to these Ideas of how The Self “Should Be” it can make us create high expectations towards ourselves which sometimes are difficult to properly fulfil.
Importance Of Addressing Regret
It is important to address the state of regret because without addressing the issue The Self can never be truly content with whatever one has done if one has underperformed.
The Suffering State which is regret often survives and lives on because The Self has become convinced that it must have it in order to improve oneself – not knowing that when The Self is driven by the fear to improve, one will only improve at the illusory level rather than at the spiritual level – because true refinement of The Self is to develop Acceptance of The Self rather than the Rejection of The Self.
Do you often criticize your actions out of the desire to improve yourself?
Regret pulls us back into the past time from the present moment. Thus the state of Regret is a very un-grounding state.
The state of Regret can also have a great draining effect on the mind because much mental energy is often exhausted from the act of imagining back in the past not to mention the amount of energy expended in the process of criticising oneself and thinking up of all the “possible” alternatives that could have happened in the past.
It is better for one to live life without regrets because then one can then let go of the Past which is already gone. It is then one can enjoy the Present Moment.
Path Of Creator
Regret In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey begins first with understanding that regret has much to do with self-judgement
Thus the journey will involve building support/trust and forgiveness towards The Self - developing Acceptance for oneself when it is “imperfect,” when it “fails,” when it “underperforms” and so forth.
The journey will take oneself to learn that acceptance is not only about accepting the Present Self, but to accept The Self that is in all times whether it be the past present or future. Remember, to Accept is to Accept All There Is - Including all Space and Time. That is the greater journey of Self-Transformation.
Thus the destination is where one can reach acceptance of all selves.
Upon realizing the unnecessity of Regret one will then discover the difference between reflecting upon what one has done to improve oneself out of Love and Wisdom and desiring to improve oneself out of negativity and self-criticism.
Let us look at some of the Catalysts that may help with one’s journey.
The Present Self will always be Wiser than the Past Self
Realize that we are all growing wiser with every moment because that is what experiences do to the mind – it refines the Knowing of The Self.
Thus whenever we look back in the Past, we will always see the Past Self as somewhat Inferior to the Present Self.
It is thus natural for The Past Self to be less Knowing than the Present Self, thus it is a somewhat unnatural act for one to expect The Past Self to Know something that the Present Self doesn’t. And when we criticize ourselves in this way we will experience the negative state of regret.
So simply Accept the Past Self as is. Because this is how you can accept the Present Self. To the deeper mind, there is no difference in Time and Space. So without truly accepting our Past Selves we will never truly Accept our Present Selves.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
When you are in a state of Regret, simply pull yourself out of the state by trying your best to be aware of what is happening in the Present Moment i.e. look around to see what is happening around you. The more you do this, the more you will feel an inner resistance and the persuasion to go back in the Past and continue to regret what you were regretting. Simply try your best to aim for Stillness so you may observe and develop the Knowing of the deeper causes as to why you are regretting.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
When you find yourself dwelling in the past, simply pull yourself into the Present Moment by observing the body journey with a Still Mind.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 22 Days Creators Meditation Course to develop the Knowing of the Power of simply being in the Present Moment.
Each day will take you to develop this realization deeper and deeper until you realize that there is no need to dwell in the regrets of the past or the fears of the future.