"Make decisions to learn how to make decisions"
Indecisiveness can happen when we are not sure how to make a decision. This can happen when we are not familiar with the topic of whatever we are making the decision upon or when we are faced with too many options to choose from.
For instance, we can become indecisive as to what food to choose when we are presented with a huge restaurant menu. We can be indecisive in where to travel when we try to plan our trips overseas. We can even be indecisive about which paths to take in life and what dreams to chase.
For some people it is easy to be decisive and for others it is hard.
Let us look deeper to understand what limits our abilities to be decisive and examine the cause of Indecisiveness.
Indecisiveness In Depth
From a psychological perspective, there can be many causes for our tendency to be indecisive. For instance, it can be traced back to the lack of opportunities we had in expressing our feelings and thoughts during our childhood years. Perhaps our loved ones took away our opportunity to express ourselves fully and doubted us that we'd do the right things and make the right decisions. Perhaps they have always criticised us of being wrong which leds to us subonsciously believing that every choice we make may lead to the wrong one. Perhaps we depended too much on others and had them make choices for us. These are just a few possibilities as to why we are indecisiveness. However, realize that childhood experiences simply is bringing out into light the inner issues that were already there. We are all born with different spiritual lessons to face that is why we all have unique personalities.
Whatever the cause, the solution is to start making more decisions in life. These may not necessarily have to be Big decisions, but Small decisions are equally as important. The more decisions you make, the more decisive you will become. Because you will learn what is a good decision and what is not a good one!
Importance Of Addressing Indecisiveness
It's important to address indecisiveness. But to address it one has to develop the desire to. So let us look at the reasons for addressing the state of indecisiveness so that one can develop this desire naturally.
Most of us may think that been indecisive is not an issue that is required to be addressed. It is often only when one looks for the deeper causes of one’s indecisiveness that one realizes the importance of addressing it – because by looking for these we can uncover Sufferings / Negativities / Fears of the mind. Yes indecisiveness is often caused by our fears, perhaps it's the fear of making a mistake, perhaps it's the fear of being imperfect or being judged. So it is important to address any issues to do with indecisiveness because when you work on it you are working to release some deep rooted fears, fears so deep that it is affecting your decision making skills in life!
Through the habit of being indecisive one can start living a life where one simply allow others to make decisions for them or allow “luck” to take them to places rather than taking the responsibility of creating one's own future. When one lacks the ability to make decisions then what happens is that one can only live to receive rather than achieve. One can end up with friends or jobs that may not be beneficial for them. One can also begin to experience doubts about what to do in the future because of a lack of Knowing of what one truly wants - due to a lack of sincere questioning of what decisions to make.
Indecisiveness can also lead to a lot of unnecessary time and energy wasted on deciding what to do. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships where the indecisive person can end up in a relationship with a person who takes on the responsibility of making decisions for them. What happens is that the person will end up relying on that person and later find themselves incapable of leaving even if the relationship end up to be a suffering one.
Path Of Creator
Indecisiveness In Relation To The Path Of Creator
As one begins to develop the Knowing of the deeper cause of one’s indecisiveness one will discover that it’s because of a lack of Knowing Of The Self. I.e. what one truly desires or wants. And the lack of knowing will come from a lack of decision making - whether it is due to plain laziness or because of certain fears in the mind
At The Idea Level
Many Negative Ideas can promote Indecisiveness.
Let us look at the following in particular.
“It is not ok to be wrong”
For the mind which carries the Negative Idea, The Self will experience the fear of making the wrong decisions.
The spiritual lessons that The Self will have to go through to Transform and Release the Idea will often be lessons involving Self-Acceptance. And these lessons usually are about developing Self-Acceptance towards The Self even when it makes a wrong decision. Thus there will be a theme of Self-Judgement that will have to be addressed.
Realize that if one can accept oneself for making mistakes then one will be able to make all sorts of choices regardless of the outcome. Thus part of the journey is about having support for oneself, having forgiveness and compassion for oneself even when one makes the wrong decisions. Without it then one will only carry Negativity towards oneself when one makes the wrong decision - and that is one of the reasons why one would not want to make decisions out of the fear of the Self-Punishment / Self-Judgement that may happen. And to properly develop Self-Acceptance, one will also have to learn to forgive and accept others when they make mistakes because to the deeper mind there is only One Self.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Through challenging ourselves to make choices when our fears surface i.e. fears of failure, fears of being judged, fears of not making the best ”decision” etc. we will be able to develop the Knowing of our Sufferings even more.
Thus in such a scenario, simply tell yourself that you are not making a choice with the goal of it being "right" but rather with a goal to “Know The Self.”
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
You can develop decisiveness in the Creator’s Meditation by moving decisively through one part of the body to another in your body journey. And no matter where you land, remain in the state of Self-Acceptance, accepting the present moment, accepting yourself for making that decision. And then carry that same mentality towards everything that you do in life.
Know and Transform The Self!
It's important to be decisive in life - to Know what you want and trust that you are always doing the right thing.
Try the 22 Days Creators Meditation Course to develop Self-Knowing of who you are, of your deepest desires and transform the subconscious states of Self-Doubts you have within.