"We fear being judged in the same way as we judge others"
Awkwardness is the fear of being judged by others as being odd and unusual.
When it comes right down to it, it simply can be seen as the Fear of Rejection. The Fear of Rejection can be experienced in different degrees. Awkwardness is just a milder experience of that fear.
We can experience awkwardness when we are asked to do something out of the norm especially if its something that we do not commonly do – i.e. To sing in front of people, to make a joke that may not be funny, to perform something creative that others may not like.
This article addresses the suffering state of mind in relation to awkwardness.
Awkwardness In Depth
We can never truly know how other people think of us. Thus the experience of “awkwardness” is in fact a fear – the imagination that someone will perceive us in a negative way.
Thus to work on the issue to do with awkwardness one will have to focus on one’s perception of oneself – i.e. To learn how to see oneself in a positive light because in doing so this will help to quell any fears of being judged by others in the negative light.
This is because the fear is there because we fear being judged by others in the same way as we judge ourselves. So the more we develop Self-Acceptance towards ourselves the less fears we will experience.
Importance Of Addressing Awkwardness
To address the fear of awkwardness we need to first have the desire to address it. So here we will look at the ways to naturally develop the desire to by understanding how the suffering states of the mind can impact our lives. Here we will also clear some blockages and confusions that may arise on the journey of transforming the mind.
It is important to address any issues to do with awkwardness if one wishes to develop greater happiness in life. This is because every life experience is unique. Without being able to be comfortable with ourselves even when we fail, then it can be difficult to enjoy life without fear and self-judgement.
When we have a great fear of doing something awkward, the fear can create blockages in our creativity. It's especially important to release this fear in particular if one is an artist because often it's the refining of one's uniqueness / oddness that can make one's creations stand out from the rest.
The fear of appearing awkward can also prevent us from fulfilling our deeper desires. For instance, sparking up a conversation with someone we like, expressing our unique opinions for others to hear, having our own unique style of clothing and ways of living and so forth.
Path Of Creator
Awkwardness In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey begins with the understanding that the deeper issues to do with awkwardness has to do with the way in which we see ourselves.
This is because what we think others may perceive as "awkward" will always be based on what we think and believe is "awkward" from our own minds. Realize that we can never know what other people are thinking. But our fears can make us project the way in which we think onto other people.
The journey will involve refining the perception of ourselves – to love and forgive ourselves more even when we do silly and imperfect things. A way to accelerate the journey is to simply challenge ourselves to do awkward things. Doing awkward things can bring out our deeper fears into light, i.e. the fears of being judged by others in the same way as we have judged ourselves.
Self-Compassion and Forgiveness are two keys which can help one to unlock the catalyst for transforming one's fears. However it can be difficult to practice these two when we are in a negative experience. Thus practices which can help calm the mind such as meditation can help greatly with one’s journey. Cultivating Stillness will help one to to calm their minds so they can see the truth through the fears.
Being around confident people who are "awkward" can also help one to to develop their own Self-Confidence. Because it is through observing these people loving themselves, and being loved by others, that one realize that the fears of being rejected is simply a self-imposed belief.
And furthermore, by developing Forgiveness and Compassion towards other "awkward" Selves, will help greatly with one to develop that Self-Acceptance towards Oneself as well.
The destination is towards developing Self-Acceptance - Unconditional Love towards oneself.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Begin doing awkward things day by day to develop the Self-knowing.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Whenever you experience the fear of being judged by others simply work on letting the fear go by simply focusing and observing the physical sensations that you are experiencing in the moment as you do in the body journey - letting them come and go.
This will allow you to also cultivate the strength to do awkward things throughout the day to explore the fear in more depth.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to transform these through Self-Acceptance. The more possibilities of The Self that you can accept, the more comfortable you will be with yourself and others.