"We are all worthy to be loved"
Unworthiness is defined as the belief that one is not "good enough" to be loved.
This article addresses the suffering states of Mind concerning the feeling of unworthiness and how this belief / state of mind can be transformed.
Unworthiness In Depth
When we believe that we are unworthy of being loved we can fall into the illusion that the world does not love us. But if one looks within one will realize that in reality it is simply us who do not love ourselves enough, because when we have a lack of love towards ourselves it can make it difficult for us to see love coming from other people or be convinced that someone loves us.
Thus when we feel unworthy of being loved, it is indeed a suffering state of mind because it can make us feel alone and unwanted. This belief can also make us distance ourselves from other people which can exacerbate the feeling of lonliness even more.
The belief that we are unworthy of being loved is one which is driven by our fears; in particular the fears of rejection, the fears of being judged for who we are. These will always recede back to the ideas which promote a lack of self-acceptance such as the ideas of "what a perfect self should be." So it is from the attachment to these kinds of ideas we have about The Self that can create such fears.
Importance Of Addressing Unworthiness
The effect of such a fear is that one can easily feel unloved when others do not approve one's opinions.
Do you often get hurt deeply when people do not agree with your opinions?
One can also feel unloved when others do not show love towards them in the way that they believe that love should be.
Do you often find yourself judging the way in which others love you?
One may also experience great suffering and pain of loneliness when one is alone without company, or even feel such a way when they are around by people who don't love them in the way they desire.
One's creativity can also be impeded as one will create internal blockages towards ideas that are "unattractive." To an artist with infinite potential, all ideas are valid and are simply waiting to be refined. Thus by limiting one's acceptance towards certain ideas, the potential for one's creativity will be greatly limited.
Without addressing the issue of Unworthiness, one can continue to feel “unworthy” and wallow in the miserable belief that the world does not love them.
Do you often feel alone, as if no one can get you or understand you?
When we believe that we are unworthy, we can actually develop a habit of throwing away our entitlements i.e. to fight for our rights, to ask for pay rises, to ask others to treat us more respectively and so forth.
Have you ever tried asking for more love from other people?
The feeling of Unworthniness can also drive us to constantly "improve" until we feel that we are "worthy" to be loved. Desires to improve is a good mentality to have but when it is driven by Self-Rejection then it can only lead to the path of Suffering.
Path Of Creator
Unworthiness In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey begins first with understanding the causes as to why one has become attached to the belief that one is unworthy of being loved. And this will take us to face our Sufferings in particular the negative states to do with judgement and fears.
The journey will take us to understand that our fears of unworthiness is sustained through our own negative judgement of ourselves and also when we judge others negatively every time we feel that they are unworthy. This is because through judging them, it will create the fear of being judged by others in the same way.
Thus the journey to transform this belief will require Two-Way acceptance, where we learn to accept our flaws and others flaws until we reach the realization that everyone is worthy of being loved regardless of looks, skills, personality.
And as one slowly releases their belief that they are not worthy, then it is then they will begin to realize their entitlements - see Catalyst - Entitlement. The catalyst of fighting for one's entitlement can be beneficial for one to develop greater self-love because it will allow one's deeper fears of rejection to surface. Thus the journey of developing Self-Acceptance it is a forward Path into the Darkness of The Self, so that one can experience it and illuminate it with unconditional love from within.
At The Idea Level
One may discover Negative Ideas within the Mind that can contribute to the feeling of “Unworthiness”
A Possible Negative Mental Declaration
"It is not ok to be unattractive"
--->I reject myself and others when I am/they are unattractive
= There will be fear when I appear unattractive because it is not ok.
For the mind which carries the negative declaration, the person will tend to have fear towards others when they are unattractive or when one is in an unattractive state.
The journey of developing Self-Acceptance is about transforming the Negative Idea from "It is not ok to be unattractive" -> "It is ok to be unattractive"
The transition towards the positive declaration begins when one realizes that regardless of looks, everyone is worthy to be loved. Experiences which will accelerate one's journey will be ones where The Self experiences tremendous suffering from becoming too attached to appearances, i.e. experiencing a suffering relationship with someone attractive and so forth, or through experiencing a lonely life from being too much of a perfectionist. Such experiences will help transform The Self's mind about superficial beauty. Thus the journey will involve accepting the illusion of ugliness / imperfection of oneself and others.
Through the journey one will discover that what they find ugly in others will always be about a part of oneself in which they cannot accept. Thus people will naturally become more beautiful as we learn to accept the parts of ourselves which we reject.
The journey is balanced through moving also towards the opposite declaration - "It is ok to be attractive"
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Look at your life to see which areas you are always trying to seek for approval from others. Usually these areas are reflections of the part of yourself which you see yourself unworthy.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Whenever you experience “I am not worthy” as a declaration or energy simply invert it to “I am Worthy” and observe the Inner Resistance towards the potentiated declaration to develop the deeper Knowing of The Self.
Know and Transform The Self!
All is worthy of love.
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to realize that you are in fact the Infinite Creator, that there is really just One Self. This will help you to see yourself in a higher perspective, and help you to transform all the states of Self-Rejection Within.