"All is worthy of love, no exceptions!"
Unworthiness is defined here as the belief that one is undeserving of love.
This article will address this suffering state of Mind and explore why some of us can feel this way.
We will also look at ways to transform this negative state of mind.
Unworthiness In Depth
When we feel unworthy of being loved, it can be a suffering experience. Often, such experiences are filled with feelings of loneliness, unfairness, sometimes anger and feelings of abandonment.
What is the cause of this suffering state of mind?
The way we perceive the world will always be determined by our beliefs.
So, when we believe that we are unworthy, we can fall into the belief that the world does not love us. This can create an untrue reality in one's life, leading one to live in the illusion of one's mind. Basically, even though the world loves us, the negativities of the mind can convince us otherwise.
Carrying such a belief thus can make it difficult for one to see the love that is coming from others.
In looking for the deeper cause for having such a belief, one will find that it's due to the lack of love one has for themselves, which often will lead one to believe that the world will think of oneself in the same judgemental way.
Thus, this negative belief can generate fears of being rejected by others, especially if one cannot endure the pains that come from such an experience.
To transform the mind and release ourselves from such negative beliefs is to develop Self-Acceptance, i.e. the learning of loving The Self more.
The journey will take one to reassess one's own opinions of "what a perfect self should be."
When one is able to see that one is already perfect, then all the suffering states of mind will disappear.
Importance Of Addressing Unworthiness
Let us look at how our life can be negatively impacted when we fall into the belief that we are unworthy. This will help us to naturally develop the intention to address it.
Firstly, the negative beliefs we carry can often make us feel unloved when others do not approve, agree with our opinions. It can make us "care too much" about how others think of us.
Do you often get hurt deeply when people do not agree with your opinions?
One can also feel unloved when others do not show love towards them in the way that they believe love should be.
Do you often find yourself judging the way in which others love you?
When one feels unworthy of love, one can also easily feel the state of loneliness when one is alone, or even when one is surrounded by people.
Such a belief can also create blockages to one's ability to be creative as it can deter one away from expressing ideas that are "unattractive" or "unpopular"—basically, ideas that can present opportunities for rejection from others.
Do you often feel alone, as if no one can get you?
When we believe that we are unworthy, we can forget about our rights and entitlements. I.e. we can end up not fighting for our rights, asking for pay rises, and asking others to treat us more respectively, and so forth. Conversely, such beliefs can push one to the other extreme, to make demands for greater love when it's already there.
Have you ever tried asking for more love from other people?
The feeling of Unworthniness can also drive one to constantly "improve" themselves until they feel that they are "worthy" to be loved.
Desires to improve is a good mentality to have, but when it is driven by Self-Rejection, it can only lead one down on the path of Suffering.
Path Of Creator
The journey begins first with understanding the causes of one's negative beliefs.
And this will take one to face their Suffering States of Mind, particularly the negative states of self-judgement.
On the journey of Self-Transformation, one will learn that the belief and fears of unworthiness are sustained through the constant negative judgements we often give to ourselves and others. It may take some time for us to become aware of how much we do this because these are often done at the mental and sometimes subconscious levels.
So, to accelerate Self-Transformation, one has to learn to accept oneself and others unconditionally. Thus it will be a journey where we learn to accept our flaws and the flaws of others too so that we can realize more and more that everyone is worthy of being loved regardless of looks, skills, personality, status, and so forth.
The practice of meditation will be especially helpful to one's journey of Self-Transformation because the more one knows about the beliefs they carry that are making one feel unworthy, the more one will know what areas of their mind and life needs to be worked on.
Let us explore a negative belief one may carry that may cause the feelings of being unworthy.
At The Idea Level
A Possible Negative Idea
"It is not ok to be unattractive"
→I reject myself and others when I am/they are unattractive
→ There will be fear when I appear unattractive because it is not ok.
For the mind that carries the negative declaration, the person will tend to have a fear of ugly people or a fear of not being attractive enough themselves.
The journey of developing Self-Acceptance is about transforming the Negative Idea from "It is not ok to be unattractive." -> "It is ok to be unattractive."
The transition towards the positive declaration begins as one gradually realizes that regardless of looks, everyone is worthy to be loved.
Life experiences can help one to transform these negative ideas. Experiences that can often accelerate one's journey are often those that involve The Self experiencing tremendous suffering from becoming too attached to appearances, i.e. experiencing a suffering relationship with someone attractive and so forth or through experiencing a lonely life from being too much of a perfectionist and ending up with no one to love.
Such experiences can help transform The Self's mind about the sufferings that comes with the attachments towards superficial beauty, motivating one to let these attachments go.
Through the journey, one will slowly realize that what they find ugly in others will always reflect back to how one sees oneself.
Thus the more one learns to love all parts of themselves—even the parts they find ugly and undesirable—the more they will find the beauty in the world they live in. This truth can surprise some people; the more we can accept ourselves, the more beautiful people will appear in our eyes!
The journey is balanced through moving also towards the opposite declaration—
"It is ok to be attractive"
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Ask yourself the question,
"What areas of my life do I usually seek approval for?"
"Is it my looks? Is it my job? Is it my reputation?"
"Is it some part of my personality?"
The answers you discover can reflect the areas of yourself that you often deem unworthy.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
Whenever you experience the belief “I am not worthy”, you can invert the energy by declaring “I am Worthy” in the mind instead and observe the Inner Resistance that arises.
You can do this at the end of your meditation practices to gain more insights into your negative beliefs.
Know and Transform The Self!
All is worthy of love.
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to realize that you are in fact the Infinite Creator, that there is really just One Self. This will help you to see yourself in a higher perspective, and help you to transform all the states of Self-Rejection Within.