Giving And Receiving
"Unconditional Acceptance is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and others"
Defining Giving And Receiving
Joy can be experienced when we give a gift or receive a gift from others.
To love and to be loved—it can be a wonderful feeling.
However, there will be some who will disagree, for there will be some people that can experience unpleasant feelings when they receive or give love.
This article will explore the negativities one can experience in such situations and the ways to transform them so that one can experience greater happiness in life.
Giving And Receiving In Depth
There is much happiness to be experienced with giving and receiving as the desire to love and to be loved is deeply inherent in everyone.
To the deeper Mind, there is really only one Self.
You are all there is and all is you.
And the more one can live according to this truth, learning to love oneself and others unconditionally, the more one will be able to experience happiness and fulfilment from deep within.
However, the experience of loving oneself and others can become negative when there are blockages within that separate oneself from being connected to the Truth. These blockages are often caused by a mind that is filled with excess thoughts of what love should be and what love should not be. Such thoughts are often produced by the over-analytical mind, and when one becomes attached to these intellectual thoughts, these thoughts can become one's truth.
When one's beliefs are no longer aligned with their deeper Self, one can experience all sorts of imbalances within—the negativities of the mind.
For example, one can experience fears of not being loved enough or fears of appearing too needy to others. One may also experience anger for not receiving the love in the form one desires. One can also begin to judge oneself negatively every time one receives love.
The beliefs we create with the analytical mind thus can stir up a lot of confusions and negativities within.
So it's important to discover and transform and release these negative beliefs if one wishes to be happy!
Importance Of Addressing Giving And Receiving
When the issues of giving and receiving are not addressed, less joy will be experienced from such acts. It can also make one feel uncomfortable and confused as to what are the right things to do in situations in social situations such as going to parties, having group dinners, when one needs to ask for help, and so forth.
One can also feel as if one is giving too much all the time. When one feels this way, one can start to withdraw their love from others, or react negatively when others appear to ask for them.
When there are imbalances within, one can also feel that one is receiving too much, or should not receive, from others. Often this comes when one has created the belief that one is not worthy of love.
When confusion and negativities are involved in the acts of giving and receiving love, it can be difficult for relationships to deepen or new ones to form.
Path Of Creator
Giving And Receiving In Relation To The Path Of Creator
Realize that the experiences of giving and receiving will always be a positive one when the mind is in a state of Stillness, for instance, when we give and receive unconditionally without any expectations, without any judgement, without any analysis.
Thus, it is only when we impose conditions on what Love should be that the Suffering States of Mind will be experienced, which will cause imbalances and unhappiness within.
To address these imbalances, the negative states of mind, one will have to go on a journey of Self-Discovery to discover the negative beliefs that one has created and become attached to, a journey of reassessing, refining, or even completely letting go, of one's ideas of Right and Wrong.
To transform one's old beliefs will always be a journey filled with confusion and challenges as it can be difficult to convince oneself that the beliefs that one has been holding so close to oneself for such a long time need to be let go.
That is why the practice of meditation is so beneficial because it will allow one to experience the impacts that one's beliefs can have on one's mind. The more one develops such Self-Knowing, the more one will develop the natural willingness to let go of the old beliefs that have been causing one so much misery.
The journey of Self-Knowing will thus naturally become a journey of Self-Transformation. The wisdom that arises within on such a journey will help us to balance the way in which we are directing our love. When the direction of Love becomes balanced, then no more confusion and negativities will be experienced whenever one gives or receives.
Let us look at a possible Negative Belief that one could have created to understand the journey of transforming the mind even more.
At The Idea Level
A Possible Negative Idea
"It is not ok to receive compliments."
->I reject myself and others when I receive compliments.
→ There will be fear when I receive compliments because it is not ok.
When the mind becomes attached to such a declaration, The mind will tend to feel uneasy in times when they receive attention or compliments from others.
Perhaps it's because there is a fear that people might think that we've done something purely out of seeking attention.
Or perhaps, it's because we don't feel that we deserve to be loved or praised.
To know the cause clearly will require one to go on an inward journey of Self-Discovery.
The key to Self-Transformation is Self-Acceptance
So, to transform the Negative Idea, we have to transform "It is not ok to receive compliments" to "It is ok to receive compliments"
The transition towards the positive declaration can happen through the accumulation of wisdom on one's journey. One such wisdom could be the realization that there is as much love in receiving as there is in giving.
For instance, when one receives compliments with open arms, one is also treasuring other people's opinions.
The transition can also happen when one learns to value one's worth more and more. And the efforts to acquire this wisdom can be made in every moment throughout the day, i.e. in one's workplace, in one's home, whilst one's shopping, and so forth.
After the Negative Idea is transformed, one will be able to receive compliments and not mind the limelight when it is turned towards them.
The journey is balanced through moving also towards the opposite declaration
"It is ok to not receive compliments"
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Become aware of the level/quality of happiness experienced each time you give or receive a gift/compliment from someone to develop the awareness of whether or not there are Negative Ideas behind the experiences.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
When we meditate, we are devoting time to know ourselves.
Thus it is a practice where we focus on ourselves.
To balance this, we can send love outwards to others at the end of our meditation sessions, whether it is to forgive the people that have angered us or to send gratitude towards people who have helped us, in your own way.
You can do this at the mental level for a minute or two before the end of each practice.
Know and Transform The Self!
Try the 10 Day One-Self Catalyst to uncover your deepest Negative Ideas / States of Self-Rejection. In this course you will learn how to accept and love yourself unconditionally.