"I failed. But at least I have tried"
The fear of failing can be understood as having a lack of Self-Belief that one will succeed. Failure could mean different things to different people. Having failed in something can mean to not have reached one's goals, to meet one's expectations, to have underperformed, to have embarassed oneself and so forth.
This article will look into the Cause of this fear and explore the ways to address this suffering state of mind.
Failing In Depth
The fear of failing can create a great deal of suffering. It can makes us afraid of making "mistakes." And when we make a mistake we can fear being punished for it whether it is from others or from ourselves.
Not everyone will have this fear of failing in the same degree. There will be people out there who don’t have much of this fear of failing, and in fact quite enjoy the process of failing. There will also be those who have the fear of failing so much that they do not even dare to try to succeed.
But why do some people have this fear more than others?
Importance Of Addressing Failing
It is important to address the fear of failing. But to address it one has to first develop the intention to address it so let us look at the negative impacts of the fear to develop the intention naturally.
When we carry a great fear of failing, the fear can inhibit us from chasing our dreams.
How much are you doing the things that you dream about doing?
The Fear of failing can also create blockages to the Knowing of The Self especially in the areas of our desires. The fear can make one not see one's true desires because the fear of failing can subconsciously make us feel uncomfortable at pursuing it. Thus the fears can create great blockages in the energetic areas of the body (i.e. cakras) in particular in the areas of the heart, mind and throat – which are the areas concerning the expressions of The Self. Thus when we fear of failing we will be afraid to "voice" out our true opinions or fight for what we believe in. And within time this can manifest onto the surface as a physical disease.
Are you aware of your inner desires? Your dream job? Your dream lifestyle?
Path Of Creator
Failing In Relation To The Path Of Creator
As we journey into knowing what the Fear of Failing is really about, we will perhaps first discover that it has to do with the fear of making the wrong decisions i.e. making the right or wrong choices. But as we journey even deeper what we will discover that it is also about how other people will perceive us when we fail. And even deeper, how we perceive ourselves when we fail.
Thus the main spiritual lessons that one will have to go through to transform and release the negativity will revolve around the theme of Self-Judgement. And the key to transforming all suffering states of mind is through Self-Acceptance. In the case of the fear of failing, Self-Acceptance can be understood spiritually as Self-Support, Self-Confidence, and Trust in oneself that everything wlil be alright.
The Fear At The Idea Level
As the Seed Cause of all forms of Sufferings recede to Negative Ideas. The fear of failing can be paraphrased as the following declaration –
“It is not ok to Fail”
The way the Negative Idea is sustained
There are many ways in which the Negative Idea is sustained. But the biggest action which sustains the fear is Self-Judgement – which involves judging oneself and also judging other selves. That is because when we judge people when they fail we will fear being judged similarly when we fail.
Thus Self-Forgiveness and Self-Compassion is a great Catalyst to use one wishes to make great progress on the Path. Sometimes we can believe that Self-Condemnation is a necessary drive for the Self to grow and this negative belief can actually make us stagnate and pull us back from transforming and releasing our fears.
The three biggest things one can do for oneself on the journey is the following
1. Develop a more positive Self-Perception
2. Develop more Self-Compassion
3. Develop more Support For The Self
The journey of transforming the mind will help us to develop the wisdom that it's ok to fail in life, as failing in life will always lead to greater success in the world outside and in the world within.
Realize that one can never go through their whole life without failing in something, so the true life goal is not so much in doing everything perfectly in life without fail, but rather to learn to accept oneself when one fails.
In fact from a higher perspective, greater wisdom can be gained through the process of failing rather than succeeding because through the process one can develop ever greater Self-Acceptance for oneself and others. As one learns to be compassionate towards oneself for making mistakes, for not reaching one's expectations, one will also indirectly learn that it is ok for others to fail and not meet one's expectations too. So from the spiritual perspective, there is no need to carry a negative perception towards failing. The experience of failing in fact can provide great lessons for one to develop even greater spiritual growth.
Realize that confidence built without having experienced failures will crumble easily. So the experience of failures is a great foundation for Self-Acceptance to be built upon.
The destination is towards a state of unconditional acceptance towards The Self no matter if one is successful or a failure in life. It is from such a state of mind that one can be truly happy no matter what situations arises in life.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
You can develop experienced Knowledge of how much fear you have in failing by observing the Negativities that brims out from within each time you have perceived someone as failing or each time you perceive yourself as failing.
The Creator's Meditation / VipassanaLink here
In your meditation journey when you begin to wander off in the mind in the imagination of being angry/sad at yourself or others when you or others fail simply observe it as it is and simply focus on your body journey with a Still Mind. This is how we indirectly develop Self-Compassion and Forgiveness - by allowing ourselves to spend more time in peace and happiness of the present moment rather than dwelling in the negativities of Self-Judgement.
Know and Transform The Self!
There are many free courses that you can try on the Courses page for you to develop greater self-acceptance even if you failed in something.
For example, the Self Blessings Meditation will guide you to learn how to develop Self-Acceptance by practising a 5 minute Self-Acceptance technique every night. This practice will help you to see that no matter what you do in life, every thing you do is perfect.