Creation Within Creation
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Loneliness

"Alone+Unhappiness=Loneliness"

Introduction

Defining Loneliness

Lonliness is a suffering state of mind that can be experienced when one feels alone. The intensity of one's loneliness can vary from the subtle feelings of being awkwardly alone to intense emotions that can be as painful as a heartbreak. 

Usually, the state of loneliness is experienced when one is spending time by themselves without company, for instance, when one is at home alone, shopping by themselves, doing things without friends, and so forth. But, loneliness can also be experienced when one is surrounded by people, even when one is around friends.

So, what is the true cause for this state of mind that can cause so much pain to the heart?

In this article, we will explore what loneliness really is, how it is created in the mind, and the ways to transform it. 

Loneliness In Depth


Cause of lonliness

Loneliness, like all other suffering states of mind, is a state that is caused by the quality of perception we have towards our life experiences rather than by the life experiences themselves.

So, even if one were to be surrounded by loved ones and friends all the time, one still be able to experience the state of loneliness.

Although having a lack of friends and loved ones can indeed accentuate the experience of loneliness, the deeper cause can always be found inside oneself.

Most of the time, the cause of one's lonely mind will always be traced back to the beliefs one have created in the mind to do with "I must have this, I must have that". When one has an attachment towards fulfilling a particular desire, the state of loneliness will be experienced when that desire is not fulfilled. 

Thus if one wishes to explore the deeper cause of their loneliness, one can ask the following questions:

"What must I have in life to be happy?"

"Why must I have those things to be happy?"

"What do I believe I lack in life?"

"What are my most important desires?"

"What is stopping me from fulfilling my desires?

The practice of meditation can help one to discover the answers to these questions. Writing down one's thoughts and emotions on a piece of paper can also help. One can also keep a diary or find someone to talk about their feelings.

Relationship Between Lonliness and Attachment

To understand more about the state of loneliness, one can simply understand it to be a form of suffering caused by one's attachment.

For instance, when one is attached to wanting something that others have, then one can experience envy.

For instance, when one is attached to wanting something not to happen, then one can experience fear.

For instance, when one is attached to wanting someone to act in a particular way, one can experience anger.

And when one is attached to wanting someone or something to accompany their life, whether it be a person or a goal, a job, a desired outcome, one can experience loneliness. And the more one "desires" what one doesnt have, the more intense the experience of loneliness will be.

So, to temporarily address one's loneliness in life, one can find a person they desire or a purpose in life to keep them company. Doing so can help to appease the unfulfilled desires of the lonely mind. However, such solutions will only last temporarily because as soon as the person or purpose disappears, the state of loneliness will emerge in their place.

Thus, if one wishes to truly address the cause of their loneliness, they will have to take a journey into themselves to discover what attachments they have and why they are there. 

Before we go deeper into the ways of transforming the state of loneliness, let us explore the reasons for addressing it so that one can be motivated to explore and transform this suffering state of mind. 

Importance

Importance Of Addressing Loneliness
Intention

There are countless reasons why one may want to address loneliness.

Loneliness can make us fall into the illusion that we don't have enough, even though we may be surrounded by people who love and support us. 

Without exploring and addressing the state of loneliness within, it will always remain a mystery to oneself as to why it is there. Without learning about one's loneliness, one will lack the ways to liberate oneself from the pains and unhappiness loneliness can bring into their life. When one lives in such a dark state for a long time, one can fall into the belief that there is no cure for their unhappiness, and as a result, the states of purposelessness, pessimism, and depression can follow, making the experience of life dreadful. 

Loneliness can also influence one to make unwise choices in life because instead of making choices out of wisdom, one may end up making choices simply to escape the pain that one is experiencing inside. For instance, getting into an unsuitable relationship just because one's lonely, or doing things like drugs and alcohol to escape the pain that one is experiencing inside. 

Loneliness can also lead to unhealthy acts of the mind, for instance, dwelling in the imagination of talking to people or engage in the thoughts of being in relationships with people and strangers in our mind. 

When loneliness is experienced for prolonged periods of time, it can place great stress on the heart. Realize that the heart is the central engine that drives all parts of our being, so a stressed heart will impair the body and mind from functioning properly. 

Loneliness Can Be Released

To take the steps of addressing loneliness, one has to first discover and release the beliefs that they carry within that can hold one back from addressing their lonliness.

For instance, some people may believe that it's natural for loneliness to be experienced because they may believe that the experience of sadness and happiness is what makes one human.

But, realize that just because suffering has become the norm for one's life doesn't mean that it shouldn't be addressed. Loneliness, like with all other suffering states of mind, can be completely transformed and released so that it doesn't have to be experienced again. The reason why one feel that loneliness is impossible to address is that one has not yet found the proper cure. 

Realize that the unhappiness that we experience in life are there to be overcome rather than to be dwelled in. And realize that loneliness can be addressed. The more one realizes the power they have within to transform their mind, the more motivated one will be in addressing their suffering states within.

With that said, let us explore the journey of transforming loneliness!

Path Of Creator

Loneliness In Relation To The Path Of Creator

Ironically, the journey of addressing loneliness is a lone into one's mind. 

Such a journey is a journey of Self-Discovery. The following questions can be asked to explore the cause of one's jealousy even deeper:

"Why can't I be happy in every moment?"

"Why do I need someone to make me happy?"

"Why do I need something to make me happy?"

And as one journeys into themselves in search of the answers, one will find their attachments: the desires that they cannot let go.

And why are they there?

With time, one will realize that the attachment for greater happiness is there because of the desire to escape some pain within. 

Realize that if one is already happy, then one won't have the need for greater happiness.

So with time, one will realize that the need for someone or something to be happy is there because one cannot be happy being with just themselves.

Thus, generally speaking, the more one works on loving themselves, the more the deeper causes of loneliness will be transformed and released. 

To do so, one can explore the deeply-rooted beliefs one has within that promote Self-Rejection, Self-Judgement—the beliefs that promote Self-Hate than Self-Love.

The following questions can be asked,

"Do I usually criticize myself or applaud myself more?"

"Do I have high expectations of myself?"

"Do I trust myself or doubt myself more?"

"Am I fearless in expressing my true self to others or am I afraid of Self-Rejection?"

"Can I forgive myself when I make mistakes?"

And so forth.

So, generally speaking, the more one can work on loving oneself, the less one will experience the suffering states of loneliness because what one will find is that once one can love themselves, one will be able to live with themselves and have less of the need for other people's love.

One can explore the various catalysts on the website to develop greater Self-love.

For example,

Catalyst - Judgement

Catalyst - Approval

Catalyst - Trust

Catalyst - Entitlement

Even if one doesn't know how to develop Self-Love, just attempting it will be enough. You will realize just how much loneliness can be released through simply carring the intention to love oneself more than before. And there are many things one can do to love oneself, for instance, to try ways of improving their health, i.e. through diet or exercise, to learn to say no to others when they ask us to do things we don't want, to choose a better seat when going to a restaurant or bus—there are simply countless things one can do!

Practising meditation can help to accelerate the journey of Self-Transformation. The more one practises meditation, the more one will realize that happiness can be experienced even when one is alone, without thoughts, without emotions, with just themselves. With time, they will realize that lonliness is a suffering is a state of mind that one has created inside. The more one realizes this, the easier it will be for one to let go of their attachments towards needing certain people and things in life.

The journey of transforming one's loneliness will take one to realize that one can be happy alone. And the more one addresses the unhappiness within, the more one will understand the difference between being alone and being lonely, the latter is a state that is accompanied by suffering. 

The destination is towards seeing ourselves as already complete. And what is making us incomplete is the beliefs we have that we are not. Thus, the key to completing the journey is to develop Self-Acceptance. 

And on that journey, one will ultimately realize what the state of loneliness is—it's the heart's pain at us not being able to be happy with ourselves as is. 

Know and Transform The Self!

Reading articles helps with understanding, but to transform the mind, one realizes the truth from experience.

For such an enlightening journey, the Self-Transformation Course has everything you will ever need!

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